Total pages in book: 214
Estimated words: 202638 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1013(@200wpm)___ 811(@250wpm)___ 675(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 202638 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1013(@200wpm)___ 811(@250wpm)___ 675(@300wpm)
‘You’re hurting because of me.’ he says into my hair.
‘And you are because of me.’ I affirm, harshly. ‘We deal with the past. As long as I have you, the strong you, then we deal with it. It’s not your history that is hurting me. It’s you. The things you are doing now.’ I’m aware of my mind pointing out that I’ve been struggling to deal with Jesse’s past, but that is just raging jealously, not heart splintering pain. I have to learn to deal with it.
I’m pulled from his chest. His eyes are glazed, his chin trembling. ‘You’re crazy mad.’ he says softly, pushing his lips to mine ‘Crazy, crazy mad.’
I welcome his soft lips onto mine. It’s about the only part of me I can move without pain slicing me. ‘I’m crazy in love with you. Please don’t do that to yourself again. My back hurts.’
He pulls back on a mild scowl. ‘I’m still furious with you.’
‘I’m not very happy with you either.’ I retort quietly.
‘I can’t touch you.’ he grumbles, kissing me again, all over my face.
‘I know. How’s your back?’
He scoffs and continues covering my face with his lips. ‘I’m fine. I’m just pissed at you. We need to get you moving or you’ll cease up.’
‘I’m happy to cease up.’ I argue. I’m happy to lay here and have him kiss me from head to toe.
‘Not a chance, lady. You need a lavender bath and some cream on your back. I can’t believe out of all of my members, you picked the most unstable one.’
‘I did?’ I ask. I wasn’t to know. I just handed the whip to the first man who would take it.
‘You did.’ He drags his mouth away from my face and narrows displeased eyes on me. ‘John and I were due to have a meeting today to discuss revoking his membership. We’ve been monitoring him for a while. His behaviour has become a little erratic lately and while some of the women welcome the rough side of his sexual exploits, others not so much. He makes some women uncomfortable and that’s a problem.’ A look of regret washes over his face, and I know he’s thinking that he should have kicked Steve out sooner. ‘He hadn’t done anything to warrant us getting rid of him until last night.’
‘I asked him.’ I try and ease Jesse’s guilt. I don’t want a repeat of all this.
‘There are rules, Ava.’ He kisses me, biting my bottom lip lightly. ‘Did he give you an out?’
‘No.’ I realise how stupid I was now.
‘The list of his offenses goes on and on. He’s broken a lot of rules. He’s got to go.’
‘I don’t remember him. He wasn’t at the anniversary party.’ I would have remembered that cocky face.
‘No, he was on duty.’
‘Duty?’
Jesse smiles. It’s a welcome sight. ‘He’s a cop.’
I cough, and then wince. ‘What?’
‘He’s a copper.’ His eyebrows rise in a yes-you-heard-me-right gesture.
Steve’s a policeman? ‘You threatened to kill a cop?’
‘I was crazy mad.’ He pushes my hair from my face and gazes at me thoughtfully. ‘I’ve been thinking.’
I don’t like the sound of that. He doesn’t look like he does either. ‘What about?’
‘Well, about a lot of things. But the first thing is that I need to talk to Patrick about Van Der Haus.’
I knew I wasn’t going to like what he said, but I can’t see any way around this. Mikael is probably the equivalent of Patrick’s retirement fund, and I know he’s going to probably pass out with shock when I tell him that I can’t work with Mikael anymore. I really can’t, and I’ve not even told Jesse about the text message. But he has just confirmed that he thinks it was Mikael in that footage too.
Oh God. ‘It’s Monday!’ I blurt, shifting a little in an attempt to get myself up.
His hands swiftly press into my shoulders, pushing me back down. ‘Do you honestly think I’m letting you go anywhere?’ He shakes his head. ‘Listen, that’s not the only thing I’ve been thinking about.’ He commences chomp on his lip.
Oh no. What is he thinking about? ‘What?’ I ask quietly. He’s not even elaborated on his thoughts of Mikael, although I know exactly where he’s going with it.
He pushes himself in closer to me. ‘I can’t ever be without you.’
‘I know that.’
‘But it’s not because I’m worried about reverting back to my old ways. I love you because you give me purpose. You’ve filled a massive hole with your beautiful face and your spirit, and while I might be making your life a little more difficult with my challenging ways…’ He raises a sarcastic eyebrow. ‘I want to throw that right back at you.’
I laugh hard and wince immediately afterwards, but Jesse doesn’t join me in my hysterics. His lips purse and his grip increases on my hip. ‘I am not challenging, Jesse Ward.’ His eyebrows jump higher. He obviously disagrees, but I slap my hand over his mouth to halt his counter attack. ‘You just said that I’ve filled a massive hole with my spirit…’