Beyond the Badge – Nox (Blue Avengers MC #6) Read Online Jeanne St. James

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Biker, Dark, MC, Suspense Tags Authors: Series: Blue Avengers MC Series by Jeanne St. James
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Total pages in book: 133
Estimated words: 131888 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 659(@200wpm)___ 528(@250wpm)___ 440(@300wpm)
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He mentally shook himself back to the meeting.

“My husband was an officer with the Pittsburgh PD. Some of you might remember, almost sixteen years ago, when a group of neo-Nazis marched downtown and created havoc. My husband was one of the first responding officers. Two were killed and three critically injured when they clashed with the group.”

A murmur went through the participants.

Nox remembered that riot in the city and how much damage was done between loss of life, injuries and property destruction. A bunch of bystanders standing up to the marchers were also badly injured. It was a dark day in Pittsburgh.

“Not only did I lose my partner and husband, I was pregnant at the time.”

Nox’s lungs seized, every muscle locked, and his fingers dug painfully into his thighs.

“Mark never got to meet his son. And my son never got to meet his father. All due to a group who didn’t believe what’s stated in our country’s Declaration of Independence,” she pointed to the floor, “signed right here in this very state… that ‘all men are created equal.’”

When Aaliyah paused, she used that time to look at every person in the group. One by one, she met their eyes. Before she made it to the back row, he yanked his baseball cap lower and tipped his face down so she couldn’t do the same with him.

Despite that, he knew the exact moment she reached him, because he could feel her eyes boring into him. He kept his head down until she continued talking, then he lifted it enough to see she had captured and held hostage everyone’s attention.

The woman was bold, beautiful and very well-spoken.

In truth, he could listen to her talk all night. He only wished it was on a different topic.

“Even though a lot of time has passed since that day and the pain has dulled somewhat, that deep ache of loss has never completely gone away. While you never want to forget your loved one—or your friend or coworker—you also need to learn to function and move on with your life. You can’t let someone else’s death turn you into a ghost. I’ll admit it… It’s work to get past the grief and live life again. And to go back to enjoying that life without guilt.”

She caught him then, when he had dropped his guard. Her dark eyes locked with his over the rest of the small group.

They might as well be the only two in the room as she continued. “We can’t only focus on the sadness. We need to focus on the good parts of their lives. Of ours, too. Grief can be overwhelming, and everyone handles a loss of an important person in their life differently. The bottom line is, there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. However, the person we loved and lost would not have wanted our lives to stop at the same moment that theirs did.”

Damn.

His throat narrowed and he struggled to swallow.

While Bonnie was annoying, Nox now regretted she was leaving. Maybe he’d have to find another group that Jamison would approve of since he wasn’t sure he could stay in this one. He worried that the woman standing at the front of the group could somehow get past the armor he wore.

After her story, she opened the floor for anyone and everyone to speak. Anything could be shared. From feelings to a funny story, to just tears.

Sometimes Nox listened. Sometimes he didn’t.

And he never once shared.

Nor did he plan to.

He was doing his time. If he was going to open up to anyone, it would be his therapist, not this group. He didn’t want anyone looking at him with pity.

Or with tears in their eyes.

Or worse, wanting to give him a hug.

When everyone else had their say and the hour and a half was almost up, she turned her eyes toward him.

Fuck.

“You, in the back. Yes, you, in the baseball cap. Do you have anything you want to share tonight?”

He shook his head.

Her perfectly shaped eyebrows rose. “Nothing at all? Not about the weather, or traffic, or about your job?”

“No.”

“Do you want to tell us about the person you lost? Even if it’s simply his or her name?”

Her name was Jacqueline Lennox, and she was my everything. We didn’t expect our vow of “’til death do you part” to come sooner than later.

“No.”

Her eyes remained on him, trying to read his body language, trying to read his expression. Trying to get inside.

He locked all that shit down.

Finally, with a nod and a slight flare of her nostrils, she announced, “Thank you again for your warm welcome and I look forward to seeing you all again next week. Same time, same place. Please stick around for the refreshments that Bonnie so generously provided tonight. She even brought cupcakes!”

Nox was out of his chair and taking long strides toward the door when he heard, “Hey!”


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