Bleeding Chaos (Love and Lyrics #4) Read Online Nikki Ash

Categories Genre: Contemporary, Erotic Tags Authors: Series: Love and Lyrics Series by Nikki Ash
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Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 73774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
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We walk over to the three graves, and seeing my babies’ names hits me straight in the heart. I’ll always grieve for Vincent, but over the years, my sadness for him has turned into anger. He’s the reason our little boy died. He put his habit before Collin and took him down with him. Now, he’s not here to mourn the loss of our son or feel the pain I feel every day. I would never express my feelings to Janice and Henry since he’s their son, and it’s not their fault he had a drug problem, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling the way I do.

“It seems someone left flowers,” Janie says when she goes to put small bouquets into the holders. Vincent’s is the only one empty, so she places one bouquet into his. “Did you already come by?” she asks.

“No.” I glance over at the nearby grave where Gage visited and notice the same flowers there as in my babies’ holders. It’s too much of a coincidence… It had to be Gage. He knows I haven’t been here, so he left flowers for my babies. The thought has me pressing my hand to my chest and rubbing at the ache forming there.

We spend some time at the graves. Janice reminisces about Vincent, noting only the good memories she has of her son. I join in occasionally, but mostly leave her to it, knowing she really just needs us to be here with her. Vincent was their only child, and the day they lost him, like me, they lost their entire world.

When she’s all cried out, she wipes her eyes and asks if I’d like to join them for dinner. I’m about to take her up on it when the sound of the footsteps crunching on the grass catches my attention, and my eyes meet Gage’s.

“I’d like to spend a little longer here, if that’s okay,” I tell her. “Maybe we can meet for breakfast tomorrow? We don’t leave until the afternoon.”

She eyes Gage curiously but nods. “That would be great. I’d love to spend some time with Aurora when she’s awake.”

With a kiss and a hug from each of them, they head down the sidewalk, leaving Gage and me alone.

“We have to stop meeting like this,” he says.

“Like what?” I ask, confused.

“You know…” He nods toward the graves. “At a cemetery.”

“You left flowers.” I don’t have to explain what I’m referring to—he already knows.

“I did. Yesterday. Those people who were with you mentioned you moved away, so when I returned, after being gone for the past year, and came to visit Tori, I brought your babies flowers too.”

“You were gone for over a year?” After it was in the news that he overdosed, trying to take his life, he pretty much dropped off the face of the planet.

“Yeah, I was in rehab,” he confirms, “and then spent some time away… after I tried to kill myself.”

“I’m glad you’re… okay.”

He steps toward me. “I’m more than okay. I’m sober and drug-free. Haven’t touched anything in fourteen months.” He glances down at a still sleeping Rory and smiles softly. “I fucked up so damn badly with you, and I am so sorry. I was at my lowest…” He shakes his head. “I can’t take back what I did, and I never intended on contacting you because I know I hurt you, but then Kaylee texted me a picture of you and our little girl and…”

“She’s mine,” I repeat. “Not yours, mine. I don’t care about you fucking up. I knew you were an addict when I met you, but I was grieving. I will forever be grateful to you for taking me in when I was grieving and needed a safe place to stay and giving me Aurora. But what we had…” I choke out. “It was nothing more than two fucked-up, broken people getting lost in each other. I don’t want or need your apologies or anything from you. I just want you to leave me alone. Let me raise my baby and take care of her.”

“I get that,” he says. “But I’m not the same guy you met back then. I’m sober and healthy now, and I can’t just let you walk away with our daughter while I turn a blind eye and pretend she doesn’t exist. I get why you didn’t tell me. I was beyond fucked up back then, in no place to father a child, and you did what my mother never did… You protected our daughter.” He reaches out and slides his knuckles down my cheek. “But I’m here now, and I want a chance to get to know her, to be the father she deserves.”

I step back out of his touch. “No.”

“No?”

“No,” I repeat. “I won’t do this again. I won’t put her in harm’s way. I’ve been there, done that, got the graves to prove it, and I won’t risk her life. I learned the hard way that when I’m up against drugs, I lose every damn time. It’s too late for my son, but I can still protect Aurora.”


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