Total pages in book: 20
Estimated words: 19169 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 96(@200wpm)___ 77(@250wpm)___ 64(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 19169 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 96(@200wpm)___ 77(@250wpm)___ 64(@300wpm)
My branding is clear. I'm an aspiring librarian, and a virgin, who reads erotica to strangers while wearing lingerie. I don't get naked or masturbate on camera, and if a guy tries to pressure me to show off my nipples, I block him. No warnings, no refunds. I get the occasional troll, but for every one of them, there are fifty other men in my chat who say I’m perfect just the way I am, men who punctuate their flattery with tips.
Unfortunately, one of those men turned out to be a woman, specifically one of Eloise’s busybody friends. While trawling her husband's browser history for porn, she came across the cam site where my channel was being promoted.
“I’m told I have great taste in smut,” I say. “Do you have any further questions about my line of work, or can I finish packing?”
She shakes her head. “I didn’t raise you like this.”
“No. You raised me to hate myself.” The irony, of course, is that I’m finally comfortable in my own skin, no thanks to her. I doubt I would’ve started camming if she hadn’t cut me off. I suppose I should thank her for that, but she’s gone before I can get the words out.
I don’t realize how tense I’ve become over the course of our conversation until I have to stand up.
Dropping onto the bed, I take a few deep breaths to calm my racing pulse. My hand grapples for my phone on reflex. I open my banking app and pull up my checking and savings accounts. The numbers assuage me. No matter what I’m feeling, there’s no arguing with math.
Depending on how good Jonathan’s internet speed is, I could be back up and running by tomorrow night. Knowing I don’t need to rely on my dad or Eloise to support myself brings me comfort. I don't want to cam forever. I have goals and dreams that don’t involve sex work. But if I'm going to quit, I want it to be on my own terms. Not because my stepmom shamed me out of it.
I finish packing the rest of my things in the morning. All that’s left to move is my bed.
Taking apart the frame isn’t a big deal but getting the mattress out of the house and into my truck is proving to be a lot more arduous.
My dad barely glances up when I enter the kitchen. He hasn’t been able to look me in the face since he found out I’ve been camming. I get that it’s awkward for him to imagine a bunch of guys getting off to his daughter. That’s not the part that hurts.
“Dad,” I say. “Think you could help me move my bed into the truck?”
He smooths a hand over his bald spot and sets his coffee mug on the counter. “Sure, yeah. Be right there.”
I wait for him in the hall where I’ve managed to drag my memory-foam mattress without help. He shows up a moment later and tells me to take the back half. After some careful deliberation, we succeed in carrying the mattress out of the house and loading it into my truck.
“I forgot how heavy that thing is.” He points to the boxes in my truck bed. “This all your stuff?”
“Most of it,” I say.
“Doesn’t look like much now that it’s not spread out all over your bedroom.”
I find it hard to laugh at his joke in the cold light of day. “I’ll have to come back for a few things I left in the closet. Please don’t let Eloise get rid of anything before I look at it.”
“She wouldn’t do that,” he says, waving off my concern.
“Right.” I close the tailgate and withdraw my keys from my coat pocket. “Dad...do you want me to leave?”
He tucks his hands in his pockets and sighs. “Of course not, sweetheart.”
“Then tell Eloise you want me to stay.”
“April, it’s...complicated.” He sighs. “This whole internet thing. It upsets her. It upsets me.”
“I know. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”
“Look, if you needed money, you should’ve come to me. We could’ve worked something out quietly.”
“We shouldn’t have to work it out quietly, Dad. Why do you always take her side?”
“I don’t always take her side.”
“You’re doing it right now.” I can tell he’s shutting down, getting defensive. There’s no point in trying to push him if he won’t be moved. “I’ve got to go.”
“Give us a call once you’re settled,” he says.
“Sure, Dad.”
I climb into my truck, knowing full well that I won’t be calling either of them for a while.
three
Jonathan
I stare down the traffic light, willing it to flash green. I shouldn’t be this impatient to get back to my new housemate. But however hard I try to forget the distinctly feminine scent she left in my home, I can’t steer my thoughts away. I see the shape of her superimposed onto everything, the way bright light burns spots across your field of vision.