Total pages in book: 64
Estimated words: 62637 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 313(@200wpm)___ 251(@250wpm)___ 209(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 62637 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 313(@200wpm)___ 251(@250wpm)___ 209(@300wpm)
Minutes later, Tarek walks into the apartment, takes one look at her sleeping against me, and smirks. “Good night?”
“I’m confused,” I whisper.
“An arrogant god confused? Best night ever.” A knowing grin slides across his face, and he winks. “She’s clearly connected to you… and not human. So figure it out, god. Our end might depend on her beginning.”
“She’s that important?”
His grin abruptly falls away. “What does your heart say?” he asks. “The same one slamming against your chest, telling you that this is different, important, not normal. Ask your heart and if you’re still confused, ask your family at dinner. It’s not like you can get out of it anyway, none of us can and the last time Timber did Cassius threatened to set his ass on fire with real fire from Hell. I’ve heard it’s blue and that it’s hotter than red, but what do I know?”
I almost curse.
He holds up his hands. “Hey, it’s not like you don’t have resources. When will you stop relying on only yourself? Maybe your big test is learning to share the burden you’ve always carried.” One bushy eyebrow quirks upward. “Ever think about that?”
He’s gone before I can answer.
I hate that he might be right.
Instead of arguing further, I tuck Kit against my chest and pull on a blanket, then try to get some sleep, wondering the whole time how I can help her, help my family, help myself… without getting lost again too.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
以心伝心
ishindenshin
“Heart to heart.”
~Japanese proverb
Kit
I sleep the best I’ve ever slept, or at least it feels that way, and I’m not even surprised when I wake up on Horus’s couch. It seems to be my new normal. The last few nights, he hasn’t let me sleep at my own apartment, and I can’t be mad about that. I feel safer with him.
With him and Tarek.
I stretch my arms over my head or try to then realize something is against me, something that smells good and is heavy.
Horus is splayed over my body, his face literally resting on my belly button; he’s so heavy I don’t know what to do. If I push him down, then… well… that’s not good. If I scare him, he might freak out, and at least one of us might get hurt. So I just clear my throat.
Lame.
“Ahem.” I do it once. Twice. “Ahem.”
It’s just as bad as if I tapped him on the back or snapped my fingers and then cleared my throat.
Horus sighs, and his hands move to my hips; he grips them, and the sigh becomes a groan. I can’t say I’m unresponsive as his fingers dig in. “So good,” he moans.
I don’t say yes out loud; I just think it.
Tiny electrical charges zap outward from where his hands hold on to my hips, radiating down my legs to my toes and upward over my ribs and to my neck and into my ears, setting the tips on fire. I cannot remain still and begin to writhe beneath him.
He’s right… it’s all so good…
“Stay still,” he rasps.
If my entire life brought me to this moment, I might say that it was worth it to die young with the way his fingertips dig into my skin and then pull my hips down like he’s slowly crawling up my body… He covers me, taking his weight on his elbows, and his mouth finds mine.
A bright spark nips my lips.
This is my destiny.
His mouth.
It’s what I’ve been waiting for.
And it’s so familiar.
It’s mine.
A tear runs down my cheek.
He’s always been mine.
What is this feeling?
Why is this man mine without me ever knowing him? We’ve never met, and yet I’m responding in a way that makes my heart ache so much I can barely stand it. I’ve never been the type of person to have a one-night stand, let alone just shack up with a guy who says he’s a god, even though I’ve seen and felt proof. It’s all so foreign, but at the same time right. It’s right to be in his arms. My breaths come out too fast though, and I can’t suck in more air.
I start to hyperventilate.
He pulls back, his expression still clouded with desire. “Kitsune?” But his eyes are gold. “Are you okay?”
Rain pours down around us in the forest while he smiles down at me, his eyes still etched in concern.
Who’s Kitsune?
Not me.
I jerk back and fall onto the ground with a thud… then realize it was all just a dream. He’s still passed out on the couch, and I’m on the cold hard floor, finally able to remember something that never really existed.
The same face.
The same memory.
Same past.
Same loneliness.
I wish people truly understood what it felt like to be lonely. Sure, I can be starving, thirsty, I can be depressed, and anxious, but to truly have no human connection at all. To walk through life without… I think I’d rather die. How funny; not even a self-proclaimed god can save me.