Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 116455 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 582(@200wpm)___ 466(@250wpm)___ 388(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116455 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 582(@200wpm)___ 466(@250wpm)___ 388(@300wpm)
“Don’t do that,” JT pleaded. “Not now. Talk to me. Or if you can’t do that, listen. When I left you that night, Flynn, I felt awful. I’d gone to Horace’s funeral that morning, and I’d seen you standing at his graveside looking so gorgeous and strong and alone despite being surrounded by so many people. All I’d wanted, I swear, was to come over that night and tell you how sorry I was for your loss. Because maybe we were like magnets or whatever, but all I knew was that when you hurt, I hurt too.”
I shut my eyes, but that didn’t block out his words.
“And then we had a drink. Two. Castor locked up, but you and I stayed, and I was giddy because you were letting me be with you.” He swallowed hard. “That Billy Joel song came on, and I don’t know how we started kissing, but it was like every fantasy I’d ever had was finally coming true. I didn’t stop and think about where you were emotionally.” He shook his head. “I didn’t stop to think about the fact that you’d never have been with me that way if you were in your right mind, since you didn’t actually like me or trust me—”
“I liked you!” I broke off with a wince. “Okay, maybe I hated you a little, too…”
“Right. And then we were together, and it was… it was…” He shrugged. “Fucking phenomenal. The best I’ve ever had. Just like every time with you is, you know?”
My eyes widened. No, it was safe to say I didn’t know that he felt that way.
“And then I had to leave. To go back to the city. And…”
“And I pushed you away,” I croaked. “Because I wished you could stay so badly… and I knew you couldn’t.” I gave him a shaky smile. “Because you were building a career in New York. And I needed to stay in Honeybridge.”
The world had turned a thousand times since then, and here we were… right back in essentially the same spot. But maybe there were some things I could do better this time.
“I didn’t blame you, Jon. Not for what happened that night and not for leaving. But it was easier, I guess, to be angry about it than to admit the shitty, boring truth. That we weren’t right for each other because we needed different things out of life.”
JT crushed me against him, and I returned the hug, clinging to him a little desperately.
“I don’t ever want you to think you took advantage of me,” I whispered, “because you didn’t. I chose you. I wanted you. I’d wanted you for a long, long time,” I admitted.
“Really?” He pulled my hand away from his mouth and stared at me, almost in disbelief. “How long?”
I huffed out a laugh and tried to pull away, embarrassed despite all my earlier confessions. “Jesus, Frog, I don’t know. Since high school at least.” Longer. It had been longer. “I mean, I did agree to go on a date with you at one time, remember? Even though you stood me up.” I fought to make the words light and not bitter. Like that I didn’t still physically cringe at the memory of that night.
“Uh.” JT shook his head but wouldn’t let me free my hand. “Flynn, that never happened.”
My stomach tightened. Don’t be a fool, I warned myself. Don’t ruin this beautiful moment because you need to prove a point about the most traumatizing experience of your high school years.
“Actually.” I sniffed and made myself laugh lightly. “It did. You probably don’t remember—”
“I remember that it took me months to work up the courage to ask you out. You were so damn gorgeous and funny, the best person to compete against because you always gave a thousand percent at everything, just like me. So I asked you to hang out with me at the lake to look at the stars, like the world’s sappiest idiot. I made it my personal mission to get you to say yes.”
“And I did,” I reminded him hotly.
“Yep. But then you left me standing by the boathouse at the marina, holding an industrial-sized pack of your favorite Cocoa-Caramel Bits, for hours. Even though it was February, and it started to—”
“Snow!” I whispered, my breath coming faster. “I remember it distinctly. Because I was standing outside, by the boats at my house. You know, the kayaks everyone used to use when we rowed to Milk Bottle Island!” I slapped his chest lightly. “What the actual fuck, JT? Why would you think I’d meet you at the marina, like I was a damn Wellbridge with a racing sailboat?”
“Me?” His jaw dropped. “How is this my fault? I said boathouse, not kayak shed. Besides, no one in the world says boat at your house all fast together like that. And why would you think I’d drive out to the Retreat when you know your brothers would have hounded me as soon as they saw my car?”