Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 79040 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 395(@200wpm)___ 316(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79040 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 395(@200wpm)___ 316(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
Well, I guess this is my way of keeping a promise. “What should I do, then?”
“I mean, there are like three options, right? Some sort of bunny, a maid, or a cat. Pick your poison.”
“You forgot an angel.”
“Oh, shit. Yeah, you should be an angel. I’m picturing you in nothing but wings, panties, and a bra.”
My blush returns. I can talk big about the new me, but new me and old me are absolutely terrible flirts. It doesn’t help that I’m not even sure I want to be flirting right now. Relationships and trust go hand in hand. Admitting I’m feeling anything more than pure physical attraction to Jameson right now would be a very large step in the wrong direction. It would be taking me right back to that place of vulnerability. “Are you?” I ask. It’s a sad attempt at flirtation, but the best my fried brain can do.
He meets my eyes, and then his gaze drifts down my body. “Yes. I can already imagine how every fucking guy at the mixer would be staring and wishing it was you on their arms. Vaughn will be a wreck. It'll be incredible.”
“I want to make him jealous, but I don’t know if I can picture myself actually going that far. Maybe something in between.”
“We’ll work on it. How about you just relax and I’ll have somebody make you a custom costume.”
“Trust you to decide how slutty I’ll be?”
“What?” He spreads his arms, his smile not entirely trustworthy. “This isn’t relationship flavored trust, so it’s not what you’re trying to avoid. This is you trusting my powers of backstabbing business rivals, which are enormously impressive. I’ll pick just the right level of sluttiness. I promise.”
I consider his words. I was honestly talking about all forms of trust, but I can’t help already wanting to make an exception here. The idea of letting Jameson take over part of the planning here has its appeal. I don’t really trust my own judgment right now, which isn’t exactly what I meant when I said no more trust. All I know is there’s something gaping and open inside me. I can’t say if revenge or payback will make it close, but I can’t say it won’t, either. “Where would you get a costume?”
“I have a friend of a friend of a friend who does costumes for movies. He’s the best of the best. He told me he’d do a Halloween costume for me some time if I ever needed. I haven’t had reason to call in the favor until now. I’ll tell him to go for sensibly slutty. How about that?”
My smile is crooked. It feels good to smile, and I wonder if that’s one of Jameson’s super powers. He has a way of making me feel wrapped up in his world when we’re together–like no matter how insane everything is on the outside, it’s under control when I’m with him. That’s a dangerous quality, considering my circumstances. I could see myself getting hooked on that feeling. “Sensibly slutty?” I ask. “Isn’t that like calling something “reasonably destructive?”
He shrugs. “You’re going to have to step outside your comfort zone for this to work, Charli. Think about what this asshole did. He’s currently trying to steal your book. He pretended to make an app for you in a half-assed scheme to trick you into signing away your rights. He cheated on you and he’s trying to pawn your book off as his new girlfriend’s. He needs to pay, whether by fists or your exposed cleavage and ass cheeks.”
“What a rousing speech, general.”
“Well? Can I call my guy and have him make you a costume?”
“Okay. But I’m going to pick out a backup costume. So if you push it too far, I’ll have a fallback.”
“Boring. Fine. It’s a date, though. Two weeks. You and me at the mixer.”
He stands up and before I have time to react, he plants a kiss on my cheek. He steps back, pats my head like I’m a well behaved puppy, and gestures to the door. “You should get back home, unless you want to be seduced. I have self control, but it has limits.”
“Okay?” I say slowly, unable to help but laugh a little.
I get up and leave him, feeling confused, a little relieved, a lot scared, and very much worried that I’m already making excuses for why this fragment of a real relationship is okay. And I’m worried that the way he makes me forget all my problems when we’re together is the kind of feeling I could chase right off a cliff.
I need to remember to be strong, even if he makes it hard.
9
CHARLI
Jameson likes to text me. I made the mistake of giving him my phone number, and now I’m finding myself distracted all day by his texts.