Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 62543 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 313(@200wpm)___ 250(@250wpm)___ 208(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 62543 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 313(@200wpm)___ 250(@250wpm)___ 208(@300wpm)
“I’m a loner,” Robin says, interrupting my thoughts. “I’m very much alone.” She gives me this sad smile.
“Why’s that?” I ask her. She shouldn’t be alone ever. I could talk to her for hours and hours every day and be content with nothing else. She’s the type of person you feel like you already know before she even lays eyes on you. She should definitely never be alone.
“I don’t know why,” she tells me and then looks down at the sheet. She stretches her back and then asks me, “Do you like to be alone at night?”
“Not in particular,” I answer without thinking about anything other than her company in the evening. “I wouldn’t mind company at night,” I say and my blood heats as she holds my gaze and fire sparks between us.
“Why do you leave at night?” she asks me like it’s a sin.
My brow furrows, and the pit of my stomach fills with guilt. “Do you want me to stay?” I ask her.
Her eyes search mine for a minute, as if she’s not sure of the right answer. It fucking guts me.
“You love Jay?” I ask her, changing the subject and putting the attention back onto her. I know she does. It’s why I can never have her. Why I feel compelled to carry on with this charade.
“I do,” she says and my blood turns to ice. It’s one more reason I need to leave. When I peek back up at her, she looks as though she’s going to cry. It happens almost every day. When she breaks down and holds back from me.
I hate it. It keeps me coming back to her because I want to be the one to help her. The one she leans on. The one she leaves with.
I know I should tell her that it’s okay. That it’s natural to love him. That he loves her, too. But those aren’t the words that come out of my mouth.
“I really hate that you get so upset. I just want to help you so you can move past this.” So she can get away from Jay. I keep the thought to myself, but it’s true. I want to keep her far away from him. But right now, she feels she needs him. She feels for him.
“Then help me, John,” she says with a strained voice. Like she’s so close, yet so far away.
“Tell me what you need,” I tell her. And I mean it. I don’t want her to be upset or hurt in any way. She’s a strong, beautiful woman who should be happy. The past is where it’s supposed to be, and she should know she deserves happiness.
“I need you to remember,” she whispers and stares deep into my eyes.
“Remember what?” I ask her, my heart beating slow and my body heating. It’s fear that keeps me still. Fear that I’m somehow involved in what happened all those years ago. I’ve tried so many times to think back to how I know this woman, but nothing comes to mind.
I must though, because she calls to me in a way I can’t deny.
She gives me a small smile, but it’s sad. Everything about her is a beautiful shade of sadness. “Can you tell me what you know of me again?” she asks me.
I sit back with slight relief, but the feeling that I’m failing her is so heavy on my chest I can’t speak. “Can you tell me how we first met?” she asks me. Pushing me.
I try to answer her, I try to think but my memory is so hazy.
“Do you want to talk about something else?” she asks me, breaking up the throbbing headache and the overwhelming anxiety. Her hazel eyes shine with sincerity. “I just want to talk to you,” she tells me and leans against the wall.
She’s obviously lying, and it’s then that it hits me.
This session isn’t about her.
I’m not here to help her at all.
I’m not meant to interview her.
Jay set me up.
These sessions are all about me.
Chapter 21
Robin
I’m done sleeping alone. Or trying to, rather. Every second that passes is like a ticking bomb and I need to be close to him when it goes off. That, and I can’t fucking sleep. Not without him.
It’s been days.
Days of walking on eggshells and finding our footing. But we know who we are and what we want. And I’m tired of waiting.
The moment my heels hit the plush rug, Toby yawns at the door and stretches. He doesn’t stand as I cautiously walk to the door, but his eyes are on me. He’s slow to stand and make sure I don’t go to the front door. That and the basement exit are the only two doors that set him off. Any other time, he simply follows me like a guardian rather than a warden. “It’s funny that you used to scare me, you know?” I tell the dog as he looks up at me with the widest puppy eyes. I know there’s a beast inside of him that could rip me limb from limb. I’m well aware of that fact. But the animal refusing to leave my side is just a big puppy dog.