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Green (Black #4)
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Things have changed, some things stay the same.
Merry ‘Black’ Christmas.
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It happens when it is at its darkest, when the night’s sky is black, when the cold wind hits you hard. Pinches at you and uses you as its weapon.
That’s when it happens.
That’s when I do the unthinkable.
Something I never thought I’d do again.
But the darkness, the blackness takes hold of me, as it has on more than one occasion. And when it calls. It’s almost impossible to say no.
The crunch under my boots brings back memories, memories of times when I never had to think about anyone but myself. Honestly, at that time I couldn’t have cared less about anyone.
But now I have more.
Way more than I ever intended to have in my life.
My life is almost picture perfect.
My family’s complete.
My life, to some, is almost perfect.
She makes it that way just by being herself.
Deep fucking inside.
The darkness threatens to sneak through and come out to play. And sometimes, just sometimes, I have to let the dark out to play. It’s the right thing to do.
In so many ways not keeping it caged is correct—it helps me be the right type of man for Rose. Or so I believe.
It helps me to keep being the man she wants, no, deserves me to be at home. Keeps me being the father I should always be. Because they all have my fucking heart, every one of them holding onto pieces of it. No one else had a chance. I’m not even sure how it happened, Rose must have taken it that moment when we were sixteen years old. To be honest, I’ve never had a hold on it since that time.
And that’s okay, I want it this way. She deserves it. If anyone can look after my heart, it’s Rose. I would gladly pull out the one that beats in my chest and hand it to her, so she fully understands that it only beats for her. Just her. Without her, I’m a dead man walking.
“Not you.” His words fail as his hands drop to his sides. He shakes his head, taking a large step back.
I can feel the disappointment that Rose will have, it leaks from me, but it doesn’t stop me from what I’m about to do. It can’t stop me.
“You shouldn’t be here.” He tries talking again.
The wind picks up and slaps across my face, my heavy black boots stay exactly where they are as I watch him. My right hand clenches the gun, the silencer already screwed into position.
“You stopped.” He tries again, frantic now, especially because I don’t respond to him. His eyes search past me, but there’s no escape.
The girl behind him moves.
I thought she was dead, I guess I was wrong.
He looks back at her then quickly to me. “I found her like that. I swear it. You must believe me.”
Fuck! He is so lying.
The girl comes around. She manages to sit up, her mouth moves to open in a scream, but I shake my head in warning as I watch her.
“Go,” I yell.
She scrambles to her feet, but he steps in her way not letting her pass.
“You can’t let her go and not me. I was only trying to help.”
Tears fall from her eyes as he touches her midsection. She’s scared of him. Frightened. Terrified. But most of all horrified as the gun in my hand rises.
His hand drops from her waist, and she runs, straight past me and out of the alleyway.
Now, it’s just him and me.
My finger begs me to pull the trigger. To end it right now. Finish him.
He’s sick. I watched as he struck the girl and dragged her down the alley as if she were nothing but a toy and he had every right to touch her.
She didn’t give him that kind of permission.
She pops into my head.
I shake my head.
Right now, I should be at home with her. In the same bed, snuggled up and kissing my way down her neck, pushing her long, beautiful blonde hair out of the way and curling it in my fingers as I pull her to me.
She likes it rough.
“Come on, man, we can work this out.”
He snaps me out of my daze from the place I should be right now. Where my woman and kids sleep.
I should be here.
But this isn’t his first time. A hit is a hit, no matter how hard someone tries to get out of it. Money’s paid, and my job must be completed.
This creep’s latest victim will now be his last.
And mine… well, he won’t be my last. No matter how hard I try to tell myself otherwise.
“I can pay you. Double whatever someone else is.” He bites his lip and looks down.
He’s lying, he doesn’t have any money. And it doesn’t matter if he was the richest fucker on this earth, it’s the first contract that’s binding. You don’t go back on your word. It’s a code I live by, it’s how my business has always worked. It’s why I’m the best and why I’m sought after.