Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 70570 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 353(@200wpm)___ 282(@250wpm)___ 235(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70570 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 353(@200wpm)___ 282(@250wpm)___ 235(@300wpm)
I punch his arm.
He scoffs and rubs it in shock. “Hey! That’s my jerkin’ arm!”
“Apparently you haven’t had a need to jerk for the past year.” I come right up to him. “What was that at the table about us being together for a whole year? You do realize our lovely new friends Toby and Vann believed that, right?”
“They did? Hmm. I’m pretty sure they got it was a joke and were just playin’ along.”
“They most certainly did not think it was a joke.”
“Hmm …”
“Stop playin’ with me, Samuel.”
He meets my eyes. “But isn’t it what you wanted?”
I part my lips to say something, then find myself hesitating. I narrow my eyes questioningly. “What do you mean?”
“To skip all the stuff. The anxious stuff. The dating stuff. All of that … that yummy stuff that everyone else in the world loves.” He shrugs. “I thought I could give you a taste of it. What ‘we’ might be like a year from now. Did you imagine our lives?” He smiles as he brings a hand to my cheek, caressing it. “Our Valentine’s Day? Our springtime together? Our first summer? Did you feel us holding each other as we stared into the sky and watched the fireworks on the Fourth of July? I know you imagined it, Malcolm.”
I avert my eyes.
My heart is racing.
He gently drops his hand, then chuckles. “Hey, don’t freak out about it. You’re the one who wanted to skip all the first-date stuff and skip straight to the settled state.”
“I …” What do I even say? Is this another joke of his? Why am I struggling to find the words? “I guess I … It’s just …”
“Okay, okay, fine, maybe I shouldn’t have let them believe it.” He laughs. “But hey, doesn’t it say something? About how easily Toby and Vann accepted it?”
“Other than they’re gullible?” I suggest distractedly.
He takes my hands suddenly. “Malcolm … I’m so happy when I’m with you. I feel more like myself than I’ve felt in years. Shoot, you’d think a guy who cuddles with cuddly cuddle-monsters every day would never get lonely, but … it just isn’t true. I’m lonely. I’ve been lonely.” He touches my chin with a finger. “Until I met you.”
I meet his eyes.
“Call me a hopeless romantic,” he says, “but I can’t help the feeling that you’ve been suffering the same. And when we crashed into each other, something started I don’t think either of us have a hope of stoppin’. I’m losing my mind over you, Malcolm. You and I just make sense.”
He comes on hard.
That’s his only speed. Hard, fast, and without relent.
That must be why I feel like I have few walls left to take down; he’s crashed into damned near every single one of the ones I had in these short few days we’ve had together. All that’s around me anymore are the crumbs and dusty remains of the brick walls that used to surround me and once made me feel safe.
Is Samuel the exact kind of guy I was hoping would come into my life? Someone as bold as Jimmy, as sweet as Bobby, yet entirely his own person?
How long have I hoped for someone like him?
Did I even realize he was who I was hoping for all along?
“Hopeful,” I murmur thoughtfully.
He lifts his eyebrows. “Hopeful?”
“Maybe I was wrong before. There’s a use for hope after all.” I peer down at our hands, which he still holds. My heart flutters like a bird dancing in a puddle on the street, happy and free. “I don’t think I want to skip the good stuff anymore.”
He appears confused. “You don’t?”
“No.”
“So … what does that mean?”
“It means I want to date you, Samuel.” I squeeze his hands. I bring my eyes up to meet his. “I want to let down my walls and … hope you still like me for who I am. I want to show you everything. All my ‘sides’. Moody Malcolm and all his ugly cousins. I want …” I find myself squeezing his hands even more. “I want to hope again.”
“Malckie … my hands …”
“So let’s go on a date. Tomorrow. Christmas Eve.”
“Jeez, do you secretly attend thumb-war competitions for a living? You’re breakin’ my finger bones!”
“Tell me you’ll go on a date with me.”
He meets my eyes. “I’ll go on a date with you.”
I smile, relaxing my grip on his hands, relieved and excited all at once.
“But why wait?” he adds. “Let’s get the hell out of this place and go on a date tonight.”
“I … what?” A disbelieving laugh bubbles out of me. “But the whole town’s closed. What could we even do?”
Samuel brings his face close, his eyes twinkling. “Everything.”
Chapter 19
All To Ourselves.
It’s magical, what you’re capable of when you finally let go.
They say the spirit fills whatever space you give it. If it lives in a small box you guard your whole life, it will never grow. When you free it from that box, it can become the size of the universe.