If It’s Only Love Read online Lexi Ryan (Boys of Jackson Harbor #6)

Categories Genre: Angst, Contemporary, Romance, Sports Tags Authors: Series: The Boys of Jackson Harbor Series by Lexi Ryan
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Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 103109 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 516(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 344(@300wpm)
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He stares at the black-and-white photo with wide eyes. “Can you be sure it’s mine?”

What a dick. “Before Easton came to town, you’re the only one I’d slept with in years.”

When he lifts his eyes to mine, they’re angry. “You told me you were on the pill.”

“I was. It looks like I got pregnant during that Florida conference. The doctor said if I was that sick, the birth control wouldn’t have worked right.”

“The chances, though . . .”

I point at the picture. “Right there. There’s the chance.”

He stares at me for a long beat, and I watch as the possibility clicks into place in his mind. “I can’t marry you, Shay. You’ve been acting weird since you saw that ring, but I’ve never given you reason to believe I wanted that from you. I don’t want to lose my wife.”

“If you think I want to marry you after all I know now, you’ve lost your goddamned mind.”

“I mean, I’d want a paternity test.”

“Would you? And what then? What would the proof of a paternity test change for you?” I shake my head. “I might not like how this happened, but I’m not upset to know I’m going to be a mother.”

“Well, at least that’s one of us.” He blows out a breath. “You got just what you wanted, didn’t you? An excuse to stay home. An excuse to ignore everything you’ve worked so hard for so you can . . . what? How will you support this kid? Are you going to be a fucking bartender?”

I know that shot is supposed to hurt, but it doesn’t. I don’t care what he thinks of me, of my family or my choices. “I’m only telling you because it’s the right thing to do. Not because I expect anything from you.”

He looks dumbstruck. I wonder how many other women he’s been sleeping with while not using condoms and pretending to be single. Maybe even other women at this college who thought they were protecting their own reputation by keeping the secret. “I think it would be easier all around if you make this decision regarding the baby in the same way I told you to make the decisions regarding your career,” he says. “Don’t factor me into the equation.”

“Would you sign away your rights to the child?”

He shrugs, as if I’m asking for something meaningless. “If that’s what you want, that’s fine with me.”

I take a breath. “And when I defend my dissertation, I expect you to do the same. Evaluate me as if we were never together, as if we were never involved.”

“You think I’m going to evaluate you unfairly because of all of this? I have the highest regard for academic integrity.”

I laugh. “Because academic integrity is everything, right? Apparently, for you, it’s even more important than personal integrity.” I take the ultrasound photo from his desk, tuck it into my purse, and leave his office.

Maybe it’s not wise to walk away with bitterness between us when the future of my degree hangs in the balance. If I’m going to move away and start over, I’m going to want this degree I’ve busted my ass for. But it was worth it.

Easton

Me: Everything okay? I missed you yesterday.

Shay: I’m dealing with some stuff at school. I’ve had some unexpected changes that complicate things.

Me: Can I help?

Shay: I need to do this myself.

Me: Will I see you at gymnastics tonight? Abi is excited.

Shay: No, Nic’s taking Lilly.

Me: You’re avoiding me.

Shay: I am. Kind of. Give me some space, Easton. We’ll talk, but I need to take care of me right now.

“What do you think about this one?” Carter asks, twisting the solitary diamond band between two fingers. “Is it too simple?”

I shove my phone into my back pocket and swallow my heartache. Because when your childhood best friend wants you to come along to pick out an engagement ring for the love of his life, you do it. “Simple isn’t a bad thing.” I study the diamond. “And that one doesn’t strike me as simple at all. Just . . . solid. Like you two.”

He grins. “I think so too.” His gaze flicks to the pocket where I just put away my phone. “Was that my sister?”

“Yeah.”

“She still avoiding you?”

I drag a hand through my hair. “Yeah.”

“Are you gonna do something about it?”

Do I look like an idiot? “She wants space.”

He frowns. “What’d you do?”

I shake my head. Carter doesn’t know about our history. I never told him about Paris or that she came to me when she found out their father was entering hospice care. Maybe it’s time to own up to all of it. “I didn’t do anything this time,” I say carefully. “But she has every reason to be cautious.”

“Meaning?”

“Listen, I’d like to tell you the whole thing, but if you beat in my face, you’re the one who has to explain your actions to my sweet, innocent daughter.”


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