Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 69155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 346(@200wpm)___ 277(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 346(@200wpm)___ 277(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
He’s big and muscled, but his skin is clean of any ink, unlike someone like Kendric.
He is clean cut and yet incredibly dirty.
Not in the kind of way you’d expect, either.
No, his skin is clean. It’s his soul that’s dirty.
“What’s upsetting you?”
I pull my face away from his. “Can we not do this right now? I thought we agreed that this is over and we’re going to avoid each other unless it has to do with Jayden.”
I unlock the front door and step inside—I know he’ll follow me. I also know I won’t tell him not to.
I can never say no.
That’s the scariest part.
“You decided it was over,” he tells me, walking in as anticipated. “I never agreed to that.”
I turn to face him. “I told you, this relationship ... It’s toxic. We’re not going to keep going on with it. I’m protecting my son.”
And myself.
Reece steps forward, running the back of his hand down my cheek, making me shiver. “I’m different. I’ve gotten help. I won’t hurt you anymore, Zariah.”
“Sorry if I don’t believe that,” I whisper, because that’s what happens when he’s touching me—my voice forgets who it is.
“I can’t prove it to you if you won’t give me a chance.”
“I’ve given you chances.”
“Don’t you love me anymore?”
I wish I could say no, I really do. But it wouldn’t be the truth. I do love him in the most twisted and broken way you can love someone. I crave his touch, I miss him when he’s not here, but I also know just how dangerous being with him is. He brings out the worst in me, a side I simply cannot accept. I become angry and violent and then when we’re having sex after we’ve hurt each other, I find myself craving more.
It’s a dangerous ride to be on, and it’s not the life I want for my son.
He’s never hurt Jayden, never laid a hand on Jayden, and he’s a good dad where it counts. He loves his son, he protects his son, he gives him a stable relationship.
He just can’t give me the same.
“You know that I do,” I say, my voice small.
Weak.
Pathetic.
“Then let me come back home, let me prove to you that I’ve changed.”
“We’ve tried this, Reece. We’ve gotten help, we’ve tried to change, and we always end up right back where we began. It’s toxic. I don’t want it.”
“I’m not giving up, Zariah. I’m not. I know you want me, and I know you’re not going to just let this be over.”
I swallow.
I want to scream.
I want to tell him I do want it to be over, that this is nothing.
But I can’t say those words.
I can’t.
“Please,” I breathe.
He leans in, his lips brushing over mine. The way his stubble scratches my cheek makes everything inside my body come alive. The way he tastes makes my whole world spin. I want him, he knows I want him, and it’s very, very hard for me to stop what I know will happen if I don’t step away now.
He’ll fuck me, because Reece doesn’t make love.
He’ll fuck me so good I’ll forget all the bad.
I crave his touch. I crave his cock. I crave everything about him.
He knows that.
He uses that.
He exploits that.
I can’t allow any more of that kind of horror in my world.
I have to say no.
His tongue gently touches mine, and I can’t hold back. Even though I know I have to.
I let myself go and kiss him; I kiss him with a ferocity that I didn’t know was possible.
I moan when his hands grab my ass and he backs me up toward the wall, slamming my body against it.
I whimper when his mouth finds my neck and he bites at it, making me ache.
His hand finds my pussy and the front door swings open. He lets me go and releases me with a swift movement that is rather impressive. It’s as if he was never near me to begin with.
A close friend and babysitter, Alaina, steps inside with Jayden. She watches him on the days I can’t get him into daycare. He loves her, and she lives just over the road, so it makes it easy. She’s a little younger than me, not by much, and she’s such a nice girl.
“Oh,” she squeaks when she sees the position Reece and I were just in. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize you had a visitor.”
“It’s okay,” I say, giving her a smile.
“Hey, buddy!” Reece says, leaning down so Jayden can rush into his arms with a delightful cry.
He loves his daddy, and that makes it so much harder.
I watch as he ruffles his son’s hair and kisses his chubby cheeks, and my heart aches in a way I can never seem to understand.
“How are you, Reece?” Alaina asks, smiling at the exchange between his son and him.