Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 82163 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82163 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
“Hi.” I look up at him, and he bends his head to kiss my lips, another thing he’s never done, but I’m totally okay with.
He walks me to the car as my head screams that I want to kiss him again. He opens the door for me, and I get in. I watch him walk around the car, and I swear I think I swoon. He’s wearing stuff I’ve seen a thousand times before, but just looking at him, knowing he held my hand and kissed me, he just looks hotter. “Are we getting Penelope?” I ask when he starts driving.
“She has dance, so I have to pick her up at five,” he informs me. I look at the clock and see it’s just past three. “I figured we can go home and talk.”
I look out the window nervously as I think about what I’m going to say. I’ve practiced this speech in my head a million times, telling him I am in love with him. But I never thought I would say the actual words. When we pull up to his house, we both get out at the same time. His hand finds mine as we walk into the front door. I slip off my shoes and dump my bag before following him into the house. “Do you want something to drink?”
“Water would be good,” I answer, hoping it can help push down the flutters in my stomach. He hands me a water bottle and then grabs my hand, pulling me into the living room.
“Okay,” he says, sitting me down and then sitting down beside me. “I have to say something, and I want you to be completely honest with me.” All I can do is nod. “I woke up this morning,” he starts, and my hands hold the water bottle, not sure what the hell he’s going to say. “Scratch that.” He shakes his head. “I came home last night, and I was miserable.” I can’t say anything because my heart is lodged in my throat. Was he miserable because of me or my family? “Move in with me,” he urges, looking into my eyes, and I think the blood drains from my body.
“I want to see you every day and help you.” I swallow, wondering if he’s asking me to do this because of me or the baby, but not because he feels like I do. “I want to be there for you and the baby.”
I clear my throat. “You will always be there for the baby,” I say. “Even if I’m not living here, you can come over any time you want.”
“That’s not the same, and you know it.” His voice sounds like he’s pleading with me. “I want to get you pickles and ice cream in the middle of the night. If that is what you need.”
I put the bottle of water on the table in front of me. “I need to tell you something,” I finally cut him off. “Something you should know. Do you know why I didn’t tell you I was pregnant?” I hold my hands to stop them from shaking. “Because I was afraid you would tell me you didn’t want the baby.” I wipe away the tear as he tries to say something, but I stop him by holding up my hand, knowing I have to have this out there so he knows.
“I was afraid you would tell me to get rid of it, and I would end up hating you. That all this love I have for you would be tossed away in one moment, and I don’t think I could have handled that. That the baby I am carrying, who I love more than I love myself, would be pushed aside. That you would look at the one night we spent together, which was hands down the best night of my life, as a mistake.” I look down at my fingers. “And that would kill me because I’ve been in love with you since you walked into the hospital room to meet Penelope. Every single time I saw you, my love grew for you, watching you become the father you are. I fell in love with you because of the love you have for Penelope. I fell in love with you because there is no one else in this world I can see myself with besides you, and trust me, I’ve tried to change my mind,” I finally say.
I smile through the tears because sometimes it feels good to speak your truth, and this is my truth. “So to answer your question…” I stand, not sure what I’m going to do or where I will go after I say the next words. “I can’t move in with you because me moving in with you would mean a whole different thing than you want.” I can’t help but smile at him. “You want me here for the baby, and I get it. But I don’t think my heart could take living with you and not have hope.” I grab the bottle of water. “So, for that reason, I will not move in with you.” I swallow down the sob. “I have to use the restroom.” I turn and walk out of the room as fast as I can.