Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 77841 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77841 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
I shake my head, bile burning my throat as I imagine what it would take to leave all of this behind. Murder. I'd have to kill him, and if I do that in an area of the room not close to the door, I will either have to drag his corpse across the floor or remove his finger to open the lock on the door. I shake my head, rejecting the thought immediately. There's no way I could kill him. But the scary part is realizing that I wouldn't want to.
He's to the point of putting the comforter back on the bed, but when I step up to help he gives me a look that tells me it wouldn't be appreciated. I can't offer to pay for the sheets I've ruined. I have no money. Hell, I have no freedom.
“I'll order some fucking night-lights,” he says, his voice no calmer than it was in the bathroom. “Since you can't manage to walk across the room without hurting yourself.” His words are angry, bordering on violent but there's nothing but concern in his eyes when he looks down at my bandaged foot. There's regret there as if he's the one who hurt me.
I hide a small smile by rolling my lips between my teeth. As his eyes skate up my body, they're not filled with desire or need or want or arousal. He's checking to make sure that everything else on me is okay. It's the first time I think that he's cared, or maybe it’s just the first time I’m catching him do it.
He doesn't walk around to his side of the bed and tell me to go the fuck to sleep like he's done numerous times. He holds back the covers on my side of the bed and it nearly takes my breath away. If this were a different time, or place, if this was a completely different situation, this is what I imagined being a normal loving couple would look like.
I look up to his eyes. “You're not getting soft on me, are you, Liam?”
His own eyes narrow but somehow glare at me at the same time. He doesn't look pleased with my words, but he doesn't say anything about it. He doesn't make a threat or slap the blankets down. He doesn't storm from the room, which is what he normally does when he gets to the point of irritation he can't control.
“Don't get things twisted up, Raya,” he says as I climb into the bed. He drops the blankets down on top of me, leans in close, one bunched fist on either side of my hips. He's not touching me but he might as well be. He's close enough that I feel the warmth of his breath against my lips when he says, “I'm still a fucking monster.”
Chapter 25
Liam
“Feel better?” I ask, my chest growing tight as she smiles up at me and nods. “Finish your shower and I'll work on lunch,” I say as I turn the water off on my showerhead. I don't take my eyes off her as I step out of the shower and grab my towel.
It’s not that I feel like I still need to watch her, like I have to keep an eye on her. I no longer feel the need to wonder if she's going to try to escape or if she's going to hurt me. Maybe it's stupid, but things have shifted. Her eyes no longer dart to the front door when she's out of the bedroom. I no longer get that feeling from her that she's going to try to leave. Some days I let myself imagine that she's happy here with me, that this is exactly where she wants to be. I let myself dream that this is where she would choose to be if the situation was different.
I know I’m delusional. I know she's probably still biding her time, waiting for just the right moment to get away from me. But she's also not miserable. The smile she gives me now is no longer placating and fake. Her laughter is new and has quickly become my most favorite thing.
Time doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if it's daytime or nighttime. The outside world has completely fallen away for me. It's only me and her spending time together. And that ache I have for her has only grown stronger.
We still don't touch. She still doesn’t reach for me in the middle of the night. She keeps her distance and out of respect I do the same. If she comes close, I back away. I don't know when that dynamic shifted. I can't pinpoint the exact moment where I relinquished control and maybe it wasn't a single measurable point in time. Maybe it was slow and gradual.
I don't have to make threats. It doesn't stop me if she's not moving fast enough or if she gets that petulant look in her eyes that tells me she's going to argue. Sometimes the words still slip out but instead of being angry and defiant, she just grins and does what I tell her to do, as if part of her needed me to issue the command.