Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 76396 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76396 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
My heart breaks, because...dammit. That sucks. And I never wanted him to feel any more pain than he already has.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“Every day in this world, is killin’ me, Ellie. I’ve forgotten how to breathe, how to just...be. I’m broken, and fucked up, and so damned scared of waking up one day, and you not being here again.”
Tears burst forth, and I move without thought, pressing my body against his back. I tip my head to the side and rest my cheek against him, sliding my arms around his huge body. I stand there like that, feeling so many things my body is having a hard time keeping up.
“It’s why I have to do this. So we can both learn how to breathe again.”
Slater turns, hand going down around my waist, and hauling me up against his big body. His eyes hold mine, and my tummy flutters with the soft wings of butterflies. He makes me giddy. He makes me feel things that I’ve not experienced. He makes the broken pieces of me come back together. My body knows this man, even if my mind has forgotten.
“I can’t lose you again,” he rasps.
“You won’t...”
“Last night, with you, was the best fuckin’ night of my life. It’s the first time in ten years I’ve been able to sleep right. Knowin’ you were with me, in my arms, hearing your breathing against my cheek, fuckin’ made me thankful for every day I kept fighting, even when I wanted to give up.”
“I’m so thankful you kept fighting for me, Slater. You’ll never understand just how much. It helps me to know that every day I was in there, someone was out here, fighting.”
He brings his hand down, stroking over my jaw. “That woman you saw me with. She’s a very good friend. Won’t lie to you, she did want a romance with me, and for a while I considered it. Nothing ever happened because...well...fuck, I just couldn’t. And so we became friends. Good friends. She was telling me this morning that she’s pregnant, and I was smiling because I was happy for her. She saved me when times got dark, but that’s all it was.”
“You don’t owe me any explanations, Slater,” I tell him, looking up into his eyes.
“Yeah, Ellie, I do. It’s because of me that you got taken...”
“And it can’t be undone,” I tell him. “Believe me, there are so many things I wish I could take back. But you can’t turn back time, you can only move forward.”
He stares at me, and the pain in his eyes almost hurts to look at.
“Look,” I tell him, taking a deep breath. “I don’t remember anything right now, and it frustrates me more than you’ll ever know. I do feel a connection with you, Slater. If I’m being honest, that connection terrifies me, because I’m scared that I’ll get close to you, and we’ll build something, and then my memories will come back. I’m scared of what they might reveal. So, I want you to tell me. I want you to tell me everything, and then, I don’t know, I guess I want to see what happens here. I can’t promise you anything, and I’m petrified I’ll hurt you, but I’m drawn to you, and you make me feel safe, which is something I’ve not felt before. At least, I don’t remember feeling.”
He gently guides a piece of hair from my forehead. “I’ll tell you everything. But before that,” he leans down, and his lips brush mine. He tastes so damned good, like Slater, and beer, and man. Pure, raw man. I want more.
I need him.
Like a damned drug.
I deepen the kiss, until we’re both panting. He spins me around, back against the window, leg up around his hip, kissing me like his life depends on it. I whimper, and clutch his biceps as his mouth moves down my neck, nibbling an erotic trail to my shoulder.
“If you don’t stop, I won’t be able to make you,” I whimper when his thumb grazes over my nipple.
“If you don’t want me to stop, I’m not goin’ to ask you to,” he murmurs into my ear, nipping at the lobe.
And dammit. I don’t want him to stop.
I know I should, at least until he’s told me everything. But right now, after everything that’s happened, after what he just told me, I want him. No, no, I need him.
More than air.
I hook my other leg around his hip and arch into him, his panting turns into a low growl as he rasps, “Can’t take my time with you here, baby. Gotta be hard. Gotta be fast. But later, when we’re alone, I’m goin’ to take my time to you. I’ve been waitin’ ten years to take my damned time with you. But right now, I’m goin’ to fuck you. That okay with you?”