Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 90685 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 453(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90685 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 453(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
“Trav,” he warns.
It only makes my dick hard. Any thought of that night gets me going. “I remember it like it was yesterday. My only regret is I never got to kiss you. Not properly.”
“Maybe if you didn’t act like a jackass all the time, you would’ve had another chance at doing that.”
I lick my lips. It’s reflexive. We’re talking about kissing, and I want to kiss him so badly.
“Shame your mouth always gets you into trouble. Just when I think I see a glimpse of a real human being, you turn into a douche.”
I laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “I don’t do that because I want to make you uncomfortable.”
“Then why do you?”
I want to open up and tell him. Put it all out there. But I haven’t let anyone get close to me the way I want to get close to Dylan. “I’ve had countless hookups before—”
“Charming.”
“Oh, please. Like you haven’t. We didn’t even exchange words before I was fucking you in a bathroom. We were both there for the same thing.”
Dylan opens his mouth, pauses, and then relents. “Fair enough. Never mind.”
“Aww, you don’t like hearing about your boo with other men?”
He points across the table at me. “That. Right there. Why do you do that?”
“Because I don’t know how to be real with you. It’s too hard to say that our hookup could very well be the most intense sexual experience of my life. The only time I’ve walked away and regretted not giving my number was when I was with you. I was convinced we were never going to see each other again. And then …” I smile at the memory of him slapping handcuffs on me.
“Then I arrested you,” he says.
“Yep. Suddenly, I was the enemy, and you treated me like a criminal even though I was there on official business, and ever since then, you’ve pegged me as some sort of bad guy.”
“I know you’re not a bad guy,” Dylan says quietly. “I wouldn’t have come to you otherwise. But … I can’t read you or your stupid jokes. If it really is flirting, I have to say, your game sucks.”
“Usually I’m a lot smoother, but with you, it’s different. You bring out this side of me that both wants to be with you while simultaneously pushing you away.”
“Sounds healthy. You should probably talk to someone about that.”
I should, but I won’t. “It doesn’t take a therapist to know why I do it.”
“Then why?”
I take a deep breath and force myself to do something scary. Admitting how I feel is terrifying. “I joke about being with you because I actually want it, but by fucking with you, I know you’d never go for it. It makes the rejection sting less when I’m expecting it. If you see me as a joke, there’s no way you could ever fall for me.”
Dylan whistles. “That’s fucked-up.”
“Always the response you want when you put yourself out there.” And this is exactly why I don’t do it.
Hookups and random sex are a lot less messy than trying to navigate feelings. It’s why I haven’t allowed myself to truly go for Dylan. It’s what has held me back for seven damn years.
Dylan pushes his seat back and stands, and at first, I don’t know what he’s doing. I don’t think he even knows.
Then he steps toward me slowly.
I stare up at him, watching his features move from hesitant to sure and then back to skeptical again.
“What are you doing?” I want to kick myself as soon as the words leave my mouth because it’s as if I can see the doubt come flooding in. I stand too, bringing us face-to-face. “Don’t. Don’t back down. Tell me what you wanted to do just now but couldn’t.”
“Are you telling the truth?” Dylan whispers.
“I already told you. I don’t lie to you.”
Then Dylan does something I’ve wanted forever but never thought he would give to me. He closes the gap between us and doesn’t stop. Not while my breath gets caught in my throat, and not when his lips meet mine.
And damn, kissing Dylan is better than I ever could have imagined.
Chapter Eleven
Dylan
As soon as my lips touch Trav’s, he takes control. I can taste his need. Not for this to go further but for it not to end.
I won’t even begin to try and understand the logic behind Trav’s attitude toward me. The concept of it, sure. The I’ll hurt you before you can hurt me cliché, but that’s not what this is.
This is, “I’ll be an asshole to you because then you’ll never like me when I really, really want you to.”
It truly is fucked-up, but even I have to admit there’s something romantic about it. In a roundabout Trav kind of way.
He’s always calm and in control, and it drives me crazy how arrogant and carefree he can be in serious situations, but as he pulls me tight against him and moans into my mouth, it’s obvious that I’m one of the few things he doesn’t have control over.