Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 118459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 592(@200wpm)___ 474(@250wpm)___ 395(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 118459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 592(@200wpm)___ 474(@250wpm)___ 395(@300wpm)
I chew on my lip and watch her, waiting for her to give me some indication as to what she’s thinking. She gives me nothing to go on. “Need anything?”
“No, Crew,” she says, whirling around on her heel, “I don’t.” Her eyes are on fire, blazing with some emotion I can’t pinpoint. “And I didn’t need my tires changed this morning either.”
“What are ya talkin’ about?” I ask, feigning ignorance. I know she’s gonna bust my balls, but it’s not like I had a choice. I couldn’t take the chance of her driving Everleigh around with bald tires.
“So, you didn’t send Will to my office this morning to get my car? Nice of him to ask for my keys in front of half the department. Well played. How was I supposed to argue with him without causing a damn scene?”
I shrug.
“Stop doing this. Please. I can take care of myself.”
We have a standoff, our gazes locked in the conversation neither of us wants to have. She’s telling me she’s not the young woman I once knew. But it’s not like I don’t know that. She might’ve grown up, but the woman she’s turned into has a helluva lot to do with the decisions I’ve made.
There are so many motherfucking things I’d change if I could figure out how.
But I can’t.
“How is she?” I ask with a nod to the living room, trying to change the topic.
Julia sighs, exhaustion flashing across her face. “She’s okay. She wasn’t feeling good this morning, so she stayed with Mrs. Bennett.”
“Olivia? The neighbor lady?”
“Yes. She seems better tonight, though.” She gives me a hint of a smile before her gaze drops to the floor. “Ever loves when you come by, so I’m sure she’ll be happy tonight. She likes you.” The insinuation smacks me hard in the chest. “She’s been missing him a lot lately.”
Our conversations don’t normally make it to discussing Gage unless we’re already arguing. The fact that she just brought it up shocks me and I’m not comfortable with it. I don’t know how to take it. I feel my jaw pulse with frustration and scramble to change the subject again.
“Why is it so chilly in here?”
Julia’s smile disappears and she tugs her sweatshirt nervously. “I didn’t know it was.”
“How can you possibly not know?” I head to the thermostat across the room when she clears her throat.
“The heater isn’t working right. I asked my landlord to come by and look at it earlier this week.”
“And he hasn’t been here yet?” I shoot her a look and she shakes her head. “He’ll be here tonight.” I dig my cell out of my pocket.
“Crew, don’t. Please. The last time you called my landlord he was a complete jerk to me for a couple of months. I just got on good terms with him again.”
I scroll through my contacts list, looking for his name.
“Crew . . .” I know her doe-eyes are pleading with me. I also know if I look up at her, I’ll be somewhat inclined to give in.
So, I don’t.
I never do.
TWO
JULIA
I finish another fairy tale about a poor princess meeting a benevolent prince. They are Everleigh’s favorite bedtime stories.
When I think back to my childhood, they were mine, too. I used to lie in bed at night with my eyes squeezed shut, creating stories of a knight in shining armor coming to my rescue. He’d climb up the trellis outside my bedroom and knock four times on my window. I’m not sure why four times, but it always was. I’d rush to the glass, and then he’d guide me down and away from my parents.
Those stories are what little girls’ dreams are made of. What they have yet to learn is when you have those dreams in the palm of your hand and they unravel, they are what nightmares are made of, too.
I plop the book beside me on Everleigh’s sheets. She’s fresh out of the bath, smelling like strawberry bubblegum. She snuggles in close to my side with the stuffed monkey she’s had since she was born curled up against her. I brush her hair out of her face, and she smiles up at me.
“Do you think I could meet a prince one day, Mommy? And I could be a beautiful princess and live in a castle?”
I smile at her innocence. She’ll learn soon enough. “You never know.”
“Are there real princes?” Her eyes glisten with excitement and I wish I could keep her this age, keep her this unaffected, forever.
“Sure, baby. There are still princes in the world.”
“Like Daddy?”
My heart swells in my chest as she brings him up, not an uncommon topic for bedtime. There’s something about the peace of the routine, the quiet moments right before sleep, which has her uttering Gage’s name. She’s been talking about him a lot recently, more than just at bedtime. Although I’m not sure why, I do know that although it’s been almost two years, it still never fails to bring tears to my eyes. Just the thought of my husband creates a cascade of emotions I’ve just barely learned how to deal with.