The Big Fake Read Online Penelope Bloom

Categories Genre: Funny, Romance Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 99356 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 397(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
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“I’m saying it’s a little insulting that you say it the way you said it, like wanting to sleep with me would be crazy. But I don’t want you to plan to sleep with me. Hypothetically, it would just be more polite if–”

“Alright,” I said. “Hypothetically, I’d press you right against that wall over there.” I pointed, watching her eyes go wide as she followed my finger. “I’d peel that dress off you slowly, and then…”

She raised a palm. “Thank you. I think,” she added with another gulp. She quickly grabbed up her milkshake and started slurping aggressively.

“Sure. I’d hypothetically fuck you any day. But we both swore off relationships, like you said. From my experience, fucking tends to be a path that leads straight to messy things like relationships. And neither of us want that, right?”

“Well, your text the other day makes me wonder. Who was the woman in your picture?”

“What?” I asked. Frankly, I didn’t even remember sending her a text.

She looked annoyed as she lifted her phone and tapped a few times. She pinched her fingers and spread them out, turning the screen to face me. I saw the picture I’d sent her, but it was zoomed in on the bare leg at the bottom of the frame. Ahh, I thought. Maybe that’s why she has been so pissy.

“Her,” she said flatly. “Your real girlfriend, I assume?”

I couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Oh, okay. Is this why you’ve been so sour towards me?”

“I haven’t been sour. And maybe it’s why I have trouble believing anything that comes out of your mouth.”

“That leg belongs to my sister. Makenna. So unless you think I’m from a certain Southern state with a reputation, you can put your fears to rest.”

“Are you from a certain Southern state with a reputation?”

“Born and raised in Manhattan.”

“Why was your sister half naked in front of you?”

“She was in her swim suit. My sister and some her friends were visiting when I sent that text and she was sitting on the chair beside me. Are we good, now?”

Pearl crossed her arms. “I still don’t trust you.”

“Good. That makes it more fun.” I reached across the bed and picked up a chunk of cake that had fallen on her plate. I ate it and licked my fingers, raising my eyebrows at her. “That’s good.”

Someone knocked at the door, so I got up. Pearl bulged her eyes and shook her head, but I opened the door and found a small woman with a huge puff of curly brown hair surrounding her face. She looked vaguely familiar, and I thought maybe she was the one I’d seen standing and gawking a few feet away when I kissed Pearl in the lobby. She smiled wide. “Dean Slater, right? Pearl told me all about you.”

“Has she? What did she say?” I leaned in the doorway and heard Pearl scrambling to get off the bed behind us. Plates were clattering and there was a loud thump like she might’ve tripped and fallen.

“Just that–”

“Marley!” Pearl half-shouted. Her mad scramble to the door already had her breathless. She ducked under my outstretched arm in the doorframe and put herself between me and the woman I assumed was a friend.

A chunk of chocolate was stuck on the corner of Pearl’s mouth, so I casually reached down, swiped it on my finger, and licked it clean. Marley watched the path of my finger, then mouthed “holy shit” silently.

“Is there something you need?” Pearl asked.

“Um, well. I didn’t realize you two were… well, you know. I just came to say everybody is meeting up in the lobby to play a game. Jonas and your sister said you had to leave dinner early, but they were hoping you’d come if you felt better. Both of you, I guess,” she added.

“Actually, we–”

“Pearl is feeling much better. She just needed a little alone time in the bathroom. You know how it is when you’re traveling. The stomach gets a little shy, sometimes.”

“Oh,” Marley said. “Great. So I can tell everyone you two will be there?”

“You don’t have to–”

“We’ll absolutely be there,” I said.

“Wait,” Pearl said. “What kind of game?”

“Um, I think it was like a team-building thing with a twist. Apparently your sister sprung it on the hotel staff last-minute and they were all about it. They even had two ladies fighting over the right to host the game. And the rumor is that Jonas paid for the grand prize out of his own pocket, so you know it’s going to be something good.”

“Sounds amazing,” I said.

“No, it doesn’t,” Pearl said.

“But we’ll be there. Count on it.”

“Okay! Bye!” Marley headed off and Pearl pulled the door closed, slowly turning to face me with death in her eyes. Just because I was obstinate, I decided not to step back, so when she closed the door and turned she was practically pinned in the space.


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