Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 111443 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 557(@200wpm)___ 446(@250wpm)___ 371(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 111443 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 557(@200wpm)___ 446(@250wpm)___ 371(@300wpm)
He rolled his eyes. “Of course, but be careful with the actor. If you happen to see him again…keep in mind that if he’s got any dirty laundry of the married with kids or arrest warrant or coke problem variety, you’ll want to know before Ollie finds out by scrolling Twitter.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself. I doubt I’ll see him again.”
“Oh.”
“Go to work, Char.” I set my hands on his shoulders and gently guided him through the great room to the side-entry foyer. “I love you. Thanks for taking care of Ol last night. I apologize for not picking up my cell, but as you can see…I’m okay, and you will be too.”
Charlie nodded, then heaved a theatric sigh as he reached for the doorknob. “You’re taking this very well. Better than me. I feel sorry for my poor boyfriend. I’ve been moodier than a teenager stuck on a desert island with his parents and no Wi-Fi for twenty-four hours. Ky is a saint.”
I really couldn’t argue with that, so I kissed his cheek and ruffled his curly hair. “Deep breaths and relax. Have a good d—”
“One more thing.” He snapped his fingers and whirled in a circle as he stepped outside.
Oh, my God.
“What is it?”
Charlie brushed a stray curl out of his eyes and squinted in the early morning sunlight. “I was thinking it might be a nice gesture to have the engagement party here instead of at Gray and Justin’s. Would you be okay with that?”
“Sure. When was that again?” I asked as casually as possible, sticking my hands into my pockets and gazing at the yellowy layer of mist ghosting over the flowers in the garden.
“First Saturday of May.”
“Hmm. I may be out of town that weekend.”
Char gasped.
No kidding. It was an over-the-top inhale worthy of a classic Bugs Bunny cartoon, complete with bulging eyeballs and a hand over the heart. “Let me guess…you’re out of town the weekend before and the weekend after too.”
“We’re wrapping up filming in Toronto and preparing for the next one. It’s already in the schedule,” I replied calmly.
“Then change it! You cannot miss the engagement party. You just…can’t.”
I furrowed my brow. “Char, I run a major studio and have concrete deadlines to adhere to. I can’t stop the wheels for a party. I’ll be at the wedding and I’ll give a kickass speech. That’s all that matters.”
Apparently, I’d rendered him speechless again.
He squinted so hard I could barely see his eyes. He didn’t break into a new round of hysteria. He didn’t look angry or even frustrated. He looked…sad. Impossibly sad.
“It’s not all that matters, and you know it,” Charlie whispered.
He kissed my cheek and was gone a minute later.
I fixed my gaze to the dew on the flowers and listened to the crunch of gravel and the rev of an engine as if they were sound effects at the end of a poignant scene on the big screen. If I didn’t have a hole in my chest where my heart was supposed to be, I might have conjured the perfect Baxter response.
Baxter knew how to get out of messes. Any kind of mess. Failing brakes during a high-speed chase, no problem. Cornered at a crowded bazaar by a man with a machete, got this. Baxter’s timing was legendary. He was quick-witted, confident beyond reason, and he never failed the people he cared about.
That wasn’t me.
I had a horrible habit of hurting the ones I loved the most. It wasn’t intentional. I wasn’t a monster. I was a fucking coward. I had excuses…good ones, too. But they didn’t seem to cover every situation the way they used to. How many times could you say you were too busy without conveying the more honest message of disinterest?
Or worse, fear.
Yeah, that was the real issue. I was very fucking afraid, and that was just…pathetic.
Sue me, I didn’t want to go to Gray’s engagement party. The truth was obvious to anyone paying attention. I didn’t think I could handle it without embarrassing myself or my family. I wasn’t ready to watch the man I loved marry someone else. And how crazy was that? How egotistical was it to demand that life work according to my schedule?
I had no right to feel that way. I’d lost Gray years ago. So many years ago. I should have been more than content to be his friend…his very best friend. And I was.
But I was very…me—a painfully ordinary, hopelessly flawed human. I was going to fail again. It was a given.
Everyone knew it. Even my kids.
5
TRENT
“Well, well, well. Look who’s here.”
I tilted my chin in greeting, pausing to fist-bump the short-order chef before sidling next to Macy. “Hey, gorgeous. How’re the tips today?”
Macy chomped her gum as she raked me over from head to toe as if I were a piece of prime beef she couldn’t decide if she wanted to eat or return to the kitchen. She cupped her ample bosom and winked. “Good for me. Not gonna be as good for you, but you knew that.”