Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 157175 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 157175 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
‘Thanks, Dad.’
I lean down and sink my face into his mop of dirty-blond hair. My boy. My beautiful, laid-back boy. ‘Hey,’ I say, releasing him from my clinch when something comes to me. ‘Mum mentioned something about a crush.’ I raise my eyebrows in question.
Jacob rolls his eyes and makes his way to his bedroom. ‘I don’t have a crush, and if I did, I wouldn’t tell Mum.’
I grin. ‘Playing it cool, eh?’ That’s my boy.
‘What, like you did with Mum?’ He turns and catches me scowling. And another head shake. ‘I’m going to polish my trophies.’ He disappears into his bedroom, leaving me on the landing.
I zoom back to the dressing room, grab her vibrator, and head back out. A quick check of Maddie’s room tells me she’s sulking on her bed and will be lost in her mood for a good hour. A quick check of Jacob’s room tells me he’s already lined up his football trophies and will be lost in polishing those for at least two hours.
I hurry downstairs, brandishing Ava’s vibrator like a sword in front of me. ‘How many times do we need to go over this?’ I ask, entering the kitchen. ‘All of your pleasure comes from me.’
I come to a screaming halt when I find that my wife isn’t alone. Oh shit.
‘Elizabeth!’ I yelp, my hand frozen in mid-air.
‘Oh . . . my . . . God,’ she breathes, looking at Ava in question. My wife’s face is a picture of horror.
‘Oh . . .’ The vibrator glows at me, and I rush to hide it behind my back. ‘Always nice to see you, Mum.’
Elizabeth sighs, turning to her daughter and kissing her cheek. ‘I’ll call before I drop by next time, darling.’
‘Good idea,’ Ava mutters, her horrified face turning into an expression that suggests I’m in for it. My idiotic smile widens.
‘I’ll be on my way. Your father needs picking up from the golf course.’
I wave at Ava’s mother with my empty hand as she approaches me, shaking her head. ‘You’re not staying?’ I ask out of politeness. After twelve years, we still have a love/hate thing going on.
‘Don’t pretend you want me to.’
The vibrator behind my back feels like it’s pulsing in my grasp, reminding me that I still have unfinished business to clear up with my wife. But then the device is suddenly snatched from my hand.
‘What’s this?’ Maddie asks, holding up the huge dildo. Every muscle I have fails me, and I hear Ava and her mother gasp. My frozen state means Maddie has a chance to investigate her find, flicking at the buttons on the shaft. The vibrator jumps to life in her hand, and she screams, dropping it to the floor, where it proceeds to dance around our feet.
‘What is that?’ she cries.
‘That’s a weapon of mass destruction!’ I blurt mindlessly, kicking it away.
‘What’s a weapon of mass destruction?’
‘A bomb!’ I grab Maddie and throw her over my shoulder, pelting out of the kitchen at top speed.
‘Quick, Dad! Before it explodes!’
Fuck me, how do I get into these situations? I race up the stairs and burst into Maddie’s room, throwing her on the bed in my usual fashion, and then watch as she giggles like girls do, brushing her hair from her face. Big, round, gorgeously dark eyes find me, and her giggles turn into hysterics as she rolls around on the bed clenching her tummy.
I drop down in an exhausted heap of dad next to her and pull her into my chest. ‘Come here, little lady,’ I sigh, taking the rare opportunity to grab a cuddle with my girl. She settles and lets me fuss over her for a few short minutes, still giggling every now and then. When she’s gathered her breath, she breaks free from my hug and sits up, crossing her legs and looking at me for a few thoughtful moments.
‘Daddy, please let me go to the disco.’ She holds up praying hands in front of her face and juts out her bottom lip in an adorable pout. Doomed. Fucking doomed. ‘I’ll let you approve my outfit.’
I hitch an eyebrow, a little surprised by her willingness to negotiate. Pushing myself up onto my elbows, I ponder her suggestion for a few moments. She’s being reasonable. I should try to follow her lead, no matter how much it pains me. I sigh and roll my eyes. That face always breaks down my determination. ‘I’m taking you there and picking you up. Ten o’clock at the very latest.’
She squeals in delight and dives at me, tackling me back down to her bed. ‘Thank you, Daddy.’
‘You can ease off on the Daddy business now,’ I say, snatching another opportunity to have a hug. ‘And you must answer your phone when I call you or I’ll be coming into the school to track you down.’