Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 157175 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 157175 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
‘Well, there I am enjoying my morning coffee reading the paper and suddenly I’m staring at her. She lost her memory, they said. Such a shame. They kindly mentioned that Ava and her husband ran a health club. It wasn’t hard to find you.’ She sighs, pointing the gun to the signpost up ahead as I bristle and curse the fucking journalists to hell and back. ‘Left there.’
It’s the area where we grew up. ‘Why are we here?’ I take the turn and keep my speed at thirty as we drive down the narrow country road towards the village.
‘A trip down memory lane.’ She turns in her seat. ‘Remember the barn where we first kissed?’
‘Yes.’ I remember the barn, but I have no recollection of the kiss. She could be making it up. Or not. Over the years, I’ve successfully eradicated most memories of Lauren from my life. Cleansed my mind and left space for only the things that mean something to me. Like Rosie. Like my brother. I want to ask when she was released from the nuthouse. I also want to ask what imbecile deemed her safe to the outside world. Though I know bringing that up would be unwise.
Besides, I know she’s safe to most people. It’s just me and my family she has a vendetta against. She’s volatile. I shouldn’t say anything to push her over the edge. We were assured that if she were ever released, we’d be informed. And it was a massive if. How the fuck did this happen? Why didn’t we know? More questions mount, tearing up my mind as I stare ahead.
The clouds on the horizon are dense and low, giving the illusion of an impressive mountain range. Though however dull the sky is, the surroundings are beautiful. Fields stretch for miles, a patchwork of yellows and greens, though my appreciation is stunted by memories of my childhood and teenage years.
We approach the small, idyllic village church where I married the lunatic now sitting next to me. Flashbacks hit me from all directions, my hands now bloodless, my jaw aching terribly from the force of my bite as I fight the memories away. I see me, barely a man, standing at the entrance of the church, Lauren’s parents talking me into entering. There’s a sea of faces, all smiling. I see the priest up ahead, his Bible resting in his open hands. I hear myself asking him to pray for me. To help me.
He couldn’t have heard my silent pleas. That, or he and the Mighty One decided I was getting what I deserved. That I would pay for the rest of my life for being so reckless with my brother’s life.
And I have. I’ve paid tenfold. When does it stop? When will the punishments end?
‘Fond memories. We could have been so happy.’ Lauren sighs dreamily as we pass the ancient place of worship, the car jumping from the endless divots in the old road. ‘Until you ruined it. Turn down the next road on the left.’
I say nothing, for fear I might say the wrong thing, and take the next lane as instructed. I see the barn up ahead, the ramshackle building barely still standing. ‘What are we doing here, Lauren?’
‘Shut up, Jesse,’ she spits as I roll to a stop outside the deserted barn. ‘I’m surprised you haven’t asked me about my delightful stay courtesy of Her Majesty the queen.’
‘What does it matter?’ I turn to face her, enduring the face of pure evil. ‘You’re here now.’
‘I was such a good girl.’ She smiles, as if thinking fondly. ‘The doctors knew I wasn’t bad to the core. Just terribly hurt. Assessments proved it. They put me on a programme. I was an A-grade student, the perfect reformed example. So they released me.’ She smiles proudly, while I force my frown into hiding. She fooled them? Made them believe she’s stable so she could come out here and finish a job she started over a decade ago? ‘That’s when I became Zara Cross.’
‘They gave you a new identity?’
‘The good old justice system. I was vulnerable, Jesse. You see, I’m not crazy. I know damn well what I’m doing, and I know that as soon as I rid this world of your despicable life, I’ll be carted back to a padded cell to live out the rest of my days.’ She pokes me in the arm with the barrel of the gun. ‘Except I don’t want to live any more. I’m done with this life.’
My eyes lift from the gun to her empty dull pits of fading blue, and I comprehend immediately that she means it wholeheartedly. ‘Lauren, it doesn’t have to be like this.’ I try to work on her reason. ‘You can be happy again.’
She laughs. It’s cold and it’s fake. ‘You mean like you? You think I should replace Rosie and pretend she never existed? No, Jesse. Never. And do you honestly think I’m willing to stand by and watch you wash away her memory with a few more kids and that wife of yours? Our daughter deserves justice.’ Another poke of my arm. ‘Get out.’