Total pages in book: 125
Estimated words: 120631 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 603(@200wpm)___ 483(@250wpm)___ 402(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 120631 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 603(@200wpm)___ 483(@250wpm)___ 402(@300wpm)
“Almost as big as owning a billion-dollar global company.”
“Exactly. You don’t see me sweating this.”
She wished she could look at it with the same indifference, but now that they were under the town’s microscope, she feared being judged more than ever. “I like to maintain a more elusive status. Too much exposure kills the allure.”
“Is that what this is about?” He laughed. “You’re worried about your allure?” Pulling her close, he entwined his fingers behind her back, trapping her against him. “You’re worried you’ll lose your mystique?”
She knew he was teasing her, but he didn’t realize she was also dealing with a storm of emotions inside since admitting to herself that she was actually in love. This had become the most casual-un-casual relationship of her life, and while he seemed to be handling it just fine, she was starting to freak out. And, if she freaked out, the whole town would be watching.
She awkwardly disentangled herself from his grip, her stomach too upset to joke at the moment. “I’m not in the mood.”
He frowned when he realized she was actually upset. “Joce, it’s just a stupid opinion column. Let them have their fun. It’ll all blow over in a few days. Next week, Lady Lovewatch will find a new victim to obsess over, and people will completely forget about us.”
He might be right, but that wouldn’t dismiss the real issue.
Now, whenever they were in public together, people would be watching. They would be waiting to see what happened. It was hard enough trying to navigate this herself. If she messed up, she wanted to lick her wounds in private. But now they had an audience.
“Why don’t we go out? We can get pizza or—”
“I don’t want to go out,” she snapped. “I don’t want to be around people right now.”
“Including me?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know.” She couldn’t think. Her stomach was under a steady assault of butterflies. At the same time, her nerves repeatedly stabbed her in the heart with doubts.
What if he got tired of her?
What if she did or said something so disappointing, he couldn’t get past it?
What if she embarrassed him? What if the sky fell? What if? What if?
“Is this your…sensitive time? Do you need medicine or a heating pad?” Damn him for being so fucking patient and caring.
She pulled at her collar, feeling suddenly claustrophobic. “No, I just…want to sit here and think—in silence.”
His expression blanked, then he said, “I’m taking King for a walk.”
“Fine.” Maybe they needed a little space.
As he leashed up the dog, Cordelia grew extremely jealous, so Soren took both dogs. When she was finally alone, her brow furrowed.
Maybe she should just tell him.
But telling him that she loved him felt an awful lot like willfully walking into a fire.
When Soren and the dogs returned, she apologized, mostly because she had no right to snap at him and this was her own damn fault for being a basket case of her own making. She needed to get a hold of herself. Her head was a mess, her characters were fighting, and she promised her editor the first twelve chapters yesterday, which she hadn’t delivered because only eight were written.
Dating was clearly starting to negatively impact her life.
“Feeling better?” he asked, coming to sit beside her on the sofa.
“A little. Soren…” He looked at her in that expectant way he sometimes did. “I have to tell you something.”
He shifted to fully face her. “Okay.”
“I…” She chickened out and ran for her fictional world like a shelter she desperately needed at the moment. “I need to work.”
“Now? It’s Friday night.”
“What difference does that make? When I need to write, I need to write.” Distance truly felt like the safest call right now. “I just need a little space.”
The second the words left her mouth, she wished she could call them back.
“Do you need space or do you need to work, Jocelyn? Which is it?”
She shrugged, unsure. “Both?”
His nostrils flared as he scowled at her. “What’s going on? This can’t just be about the newspaper.”
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit. You’re pushing me out on purpose, and I deserve to know why.” Knowing Soren, he wouldn’t leave without an explanation. “What happened?”
“Nothing happened. I just want some time to myself.”
“Okay, fine. How long?”
Her shoulders lifted to her ears as tension wound tighter and tighter through her back. “As long as it takes.”
“As long as what takes? What aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing. I just—why are you making this so difficult?”
“Because I’m trying to understand you. We were fine, and now you’re trying to shut me out again.”
“No. I’m not—”
“Sure as hell feels like it.”
Maybe she was, but she didn’t mean to. She just wanted to protect herself, even if it meant self-sabotaging the shit out of herself to do so.
“Don’t do this, Jocelyn. Just talk to me about whatever you’re feeling. We can work through whatever it is together.”