Total pages in book: 55
Estimated words: 51624 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 258(@200wpm)___ 206(@250wpm)___ 172(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 51624 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 258(@200wpm)___ 206(@250wpm)___ 172(@300wpm)
“It’s not even about dating, Winnie. I just don’t want a relationship. There’s only one spot in my heart and the man inside it will never leave.”
She goes quiet for a minute. “Sweetheart, he’s gone. You’re alive. He’d want you to be happy. I didn’t know Bear, but from everything you and Blade have told me, that’s all Bear ever wanted for you.”
“It was. He wanted it so much that he tried to give me to his brother, and that nearly destroyed all of us. Things are as they should be now. I’m happy. I’m healing. That’s more than I ever expected. Please don’t cheapen that by telling me I need to start dating. I held the man I love in my arms as he died. He gave his life for me. That kind of love is more than most people ever get. I’m okay. Stop worrying.”
“Okay,” she says, although I can hear that she doesn’t really agree.
“Good. Now, I have to get. I just heard the bell over the door chime. I need to get back out front.”
“Talk to you soon, Livy.”
“Talk to you soon,” I agree and hang up.
With a sigh, I lay my cell on the table in the storage room I’m organizing and cleaning, and sigh as I walk toward the front. I’m thankful for the distraction. I know Winnie means well, but I don’t want to hear it. Life is good for me now. I don’t need anything else. As for a man, I’ve learned my lesson. If I can’t have Bear next to me, I don’t need anyone. Some may think I’m crazy, yet I know that if the roles were reversed, Bear would be the same.
Immediately, my mind travels back to one of the nights that haunt my dreams every night.
(Flashback)
“We have to find some way to get out of here,” I whisper, trying to clean more of Bear’s wounds.
By all rights, he should be dead. Douglas and his asshole club spend their time beating and torturing Bear until he’s on the brink of death. Then, they’ll have the club’s creepy-says-he’s-a-doctor-monster patch him up and shoot him full of steroids and antibiotics, all just to keep him around for a little longer. I’ve lost track of how long we’ve been in here.
“My brothers will find us,” Bear says quietly. His rough fingers are sifting through my hair. We’re in a small-like kennel, lying in the middle on the floor, because if you touch the wire, you get zapped with electricity. The floor is cold, barren cement, but we’ve been here so long that it no longer bothers me. Heck, I don’t even notice it.
I smile at Bear’s words. He always says that. His belief in his club is absolute. Mine? Not so much. After all, Ranger was one of his club brothers, and Ranger is the one who handed him over to my brother.
“Rest. My brother will be here soon to drag me out to clean the club,” I tell him, my heart squeezing in my chest as I lie to him. I don’t tell Bear what really happens to me. How Douglas lets Lucky rape me in front of everyone. How Lucky takes pleasure in that or the other vile things he lets the others do to me. I keep all that hidden from Bear. He may secretly suspect, but he lets me have my lie either way, so I cling to it.
“One day, my club and I will kill them all and lay them at your feet, Livy.”
“I love you, Bear,” I whisper, unable to find anything else to say. I want Bear to hold on to hope as long as he can. One of us should at least. I’ve given up—and have for a while.
“I’m sorry, Livy. I fucked everything up. I made a mistake with Ayita. I stayed with her out of a misguided sense of loyalty. After the mess with Mavis, she stood by me. I felt I owed her. I never loved her like a man loves a woman he wants to share his life with—like I love you. If I had it to do over, I would have ended things the day you and I reconnected. I would have been honest with both of you. God, I wish I could go back.”
I shake my head sadly. “If you could go back, I would want you to never love me, Bear. I’d beg you to stay far away from me. Maybe then Douglas wouldn’t use me to hurt you.”
“Then you would rob me of the only happiness I’ve ever had. You’re the only part of my life, Livy, that was worthwhile. You’re everything.”
“I’m the reason you’re dying,” I sob before I can stop myself, tears falling from my eyes. They come quickly. I don’t get a chance to try to hold them in. Bear moves our joined hands over to his chest, where his heart is.