Shame Me Not Read Online Fiona Cole

Categories Genre: Angst, BDSM, College, Erotic, New Adult, Romance, Young Adult Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 115263 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 576(@200wpm)___ 461(@250wpm)___ 384(@300wpm)
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“Yup. So feel super lucky that I’m sharing.”

“Oh, I do.” She nodded seriously before turning her face back to the sky. “You must miss it up here when the weather is bad.”

“Yeah. But then I just go out back and stretch out on one of the lounge chairs.”

“The man has a plan for everything.”

“Damn straight. And you’re welcome to come hang out with me anytime. Do you have your phone?”

“Yeah. Why?”

I held out my hand and waited while she dug into her pockets and handed me her phone. With her eyebrow raised, I clicked the screen to life, programmed my number into her phone, and then texted myself so I had hers. “There,” I said, giving it back to her. “Now you can message me anytime you need me to meet you out here or out back.”

“Thanks, Kevin.”

“Anytime, Ana.”

Chapter Four

Kevin

The breeze from my open window rattled the blinds. I sat up from my bed and pulled the chord to lift them up. Looking across the open space between my house and Ana’s, I took in her dark window and wondered when she would get home. I needed a friend to keep me from my own thoughts, but her whole house was dark. Over the past four months, Ana had become that friend I leaned on the most. Since there was no point in messaging her and asking her to come over, I stretched out on my bed instead.

I’d just gotten home from spending the evening at Gwen’s. After dinner, she’d pulled me down to her basement to “watch a movie.” Instead, we ended up with my dick out of my pants and her making her way down to suck me off. It was great at first.

I mean, I had my dick in my girlfriend’s mouth. But she was so soft with her gentle licks and timid kisses. When she happened to nick the head with her teeth, I grunted how good it felt. I didn’t think she was listening to me at all, as she only giggled and returned to the soft kisses. I felt like a complete ass, and had been about to just say never mind and distract her by getting her off.

But then she hit a spot, scraping her teeth along my cock and I jerked, hitting the back of her throat, making her gag. My blood ignited, burning a path straight to my balls. I pushed my hand into her blond hair and imagined holding her head down as I thrust up roughly, wanting to hear the gagging, choking noise again. With those images firing through my head, I went from zero to sixty, ready to come.

I must have muttered out a warning because she pulled back and jacked me off with a smile. I blocked out her sweet face by closing my eyes and imagined holding her head down as I came in her mouth, not letting her up for air until I was done with her. My whole body broke out in chills, and I bit my lip to hold back a moan from the orgasm blazing down my spine.

When I came crashing back to reality, it was as though a bucket of cold water had been doused over me. I was so freaked out by the scene I created in my mind and what I’d wanted to do to her, that when she climbed up on my lap, I panicked and made an excuse to leave.

I ran my fingers through my hair, clenching at the strands trying to make sense of the past few months. I was sixteen and had been jerking off for a long time. But in the past year, it had been more than just a pair of tits that got me off, and the thoughts of being rough came more and more frequently as I roughly palmed my dick. In the moment of jacking off, I’d close my eyes and imagine tossing a girl to the bed and pinning her down. The images came so fast and slipped together like puzzle pieces I didn’t want to admit fit.

But as soon as I was done, and the high seeped from my body, it all felt wrong. Shame would settle in. The goose bumps that had been raised from chills of pleasure began to crawl with a sticky feeling that made me feel gross and wrong. My chest would tighten as I pictured the reality of doing that and the panic on the girl’s face when she realized what a monster I was.

No matter how good it was when I was racing to the finish, there was always the knowledge that had been drilled into me, waiting to tell me how wrong I was to get turned on by that. I knew to treat a girl like a lady, to never be rough with a girl, to treat her with respect.


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