Series: Silver Spoon MC Series by Nichole Rose
Total pages in book: 41
Estimated words: 37450 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 187(@200wpm)___ 150(@250wpm)___ 125(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 37450 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 187(@200wpm)___ 150(@250wpm)___ 125(@300wpm)
"Can you give us a minute, Tiny?"
"Shit. Yeah." He leans down, brushing a gentle kiss across my lips. "I'll be right outside, baby."
"Okay."
He exits the office, pulling the door closed behind him.
"Baby?" Isla squeaks, her eyes comically wide. "Holy crap, Bella. He just kissed you. And you let him!"
"I know," I whisper, pressing my hands to my cheeks. I stare at her. "I think I'm in love with him."
"I freaking knew it!" Isla squeals. "You look different. Happy."
"I am happy." I swallow hard. "And scared out of my mind."
"Why?"
I shrug instead of answering.
"Why, Bella?"
"What if I'm like Marion?" I whisper, tears welling in my eyes. "What if I'm selfish and terrible and jealous, and I destroy his life?"
"Bella," Isla says, her expression falling.
"I could be like her. Maybe that's why I'm always causing problems. Because I'm like her."
"You aren't," Isla whispers fiercely, wiping her eyes. "You've always been brave and fierce and put everyone else first. Your problem has never been that you don't know how to love. It's never been that you're selfish or terrible or jealous. You're the least selfish person I know."
"I don't want to mess this up."
"You can't mess up love, Bella."
"Marion did," I remind her.
"Mom…Marion…didn't love our dad, not really. She didn't know how to love him. She was just an insecure, unhappy girl who thought he was her ticket to a better life. She loved the idea of him," Isla says with a sad smile. "She didn't even know him. If she had, she would have known that the way she treated us destroyed any chance she ever had of winning his heart."
She's not wrong. Our dad loves us fiercely. As soon as Marion started neglecting us, she lost our dad. He tried to make their marriage work because he felt like he owed her that much, but any softer feelings he had for her died the first time her jealousy and selfishness hurt us.
"You don't have to do that, you know," I whisper, dabbing at my eyes with the sleeve of Cormac's jacket. It smells like him, and that gives me strength. He gives me strength. I don't feel like a problem with him. He makes me feel as if I'm exactly who I'm supposed to be.
"Do what?" Isla's brows furrow in confusion.
"Call her Marion. You're allowed to call her mom. Just because I don't doesn't mean you can't," I say.
"I know," she whispers. "It's just weird. She's trying to be a better person, and I want to give her that chance. I want to forgive her, but Jenna is our mom, you know? Marion never wanted us. I can't help but think she only wants us now because she's lonely and has no one else."
"Maybe, or maybe she's tired of being a problem too."
"You aren't a problem."
I smile, more grateful for my twin than I know how to put into words. "I miss you."
"I miss you too." She frowns. "But don't you dare think about coming back here because of me, Bella. If your heart is there, that's where you belong. Once it's safe, I'll come visit. And you can come to visit. We'll make Uncle Ian put that ridiculous private plane to use every week if that's what it takes."
"Promise?"
"Pinky promise." She touches her pinky to the monitor and then waits for me to do the same. "I should go. You have things to do."
We both giggle.
"Wait. What did you want to talk about?" I ask before she can end the chat.
"What? Oh." She waves a hand in the air in a dismissive gesture. "It's nothing. We can talk about it next time."
I narrow my eyes, suspicious. One thing Isla is not is a good liar. She's hiding something. But she blows me a kiss and quickly ends the chat with a rushed, "Love you!" before I can demand answers.
I close the lid on the laptop and then sit there for several long moments, replaying our conversation. For the first time in days, I feel completely whole. As if all the missing pieces of me have stitched themselves back together.
Isla isn't angry with me. My dad and I are…well, he's not on a plane right now. He’s giving me space to make my own decisions and choices, even knowing that choice could mean losing me to a bossy giant in Texas.
I never imagined I'd want to stay when I got on the plane to come here, but I never expected to run headfirst into love with my bodyguard either. My family is in Tennessee…but my heart is here. Maybe I'll be bad at love. Maybe I am all the things I fear. But maybe, like Isla says, I'm none of those things.
I want to find out.
When we get home, I'm telling Cormac how I feel about him. I'm diving in with both feet.