Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 60198 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 301(@200wpm)___ 241(@250wpm)___ 201(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60198 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 301(@200wpm)___ 241(@250wpm)___ 201(@300wpm)
During class, I don’t include Reed like I normally do. There’s a pinch in my gut and longing in my chest. My mood is sombre, and I think the kids pick up on it too. And when I dismiss the class early, it gets a round of moans and complaints.
I rub my temples because this sucks.
“Come on, guys,” Reed says. “Law has a headache.”
Yeah, I do—his name is Reed, and I think I’m in love with him.
Fuck. Love? Really?
I’ve known the guy a total of what, a few weeks? A month? That’s nowhere near long enough to use the L word. It doesn’t matter that he touches me in a way no woman ever has. His drive, his passion for teaching, and the sex—oh God, the sex—these are all reasons I like him. But the way he stayed calm during the Davis situation, the way he held my hand, offered me a place to sleep, and then stayed up half the night with me watching shitty movies so I didn’t have to think or go back into a nightmare—that’s why I love him.
I think I knew it the morning I woke up next to him on his couch, but I wasn’t ready to admit it to myself, so I ran out of there without much of an explanation.
It’s also why I can’t stand to be around him anymore and why being friends with him won’t work.
I didn’t realise I was falling for him until it was too late. This was supposed to end with Reed yelling at me for being a lying douche, not me wanting to crumple to a heap on the floor.
I need to either tell him the truth and make him hate me or find a way to act normal around him instead of all emo-like. But I don’t want Reed to hate me.
The kids file out of the room, and I hope and pray Reed follows soon after, but he doesn’t.
I hold my breath, waiting for him to say something, but we stare at each other, unblinking, and I have no idea where to go from here.
“Can we go to dinner another night this week?” he asks. The strain in his voice kills me, and it takes everything in me not to say I’d give him anything and everything he wants if he just takes me back.
“I’ll see what I can do.”
He knows I’m lying. With a huff, he leaves the dojo, and I sink to my ass on the floor.
To him, he only lost a fuck buddy. He thinks I’m pissed because of my protectiveness over Anders. He has no idea that I’m completely fucking heartbroken, because for the first time in my life, I was with someone I could see a future with.
But that future isn’t possible, because I keep forgetting one very important part. He doesn’t know who I truly am.
This whole situation is fucked up.
All week, I try to get Reed out of my head. I try to prepare for acting like a normal human when I see him. It’s useless. I have no idea when or how it happened for me to be this far gone for a guy, but it’s affecting every part of my life.
My eyes sting from lack of sleep, and I’m living on coffee and bourbon. It’s a vicious cycle. I have coffee because I wake up exhausted from restless nights, drink two shots of whisky to make me pass out for a while, and then wake up in a sweat a few hours later. The alcohol is probably making it worse, but it’s the only thing that helps me drift off at all.
Because I’ve ignored Reed’s messages throughout the week, when he arrives the following Monday for class, he doesn’t acknowledge me. I’m both thankful and pissed off for it.
I manage to pull the class together and act relatively upbeat for the kids, but Davis’s eyes keep ping-ponging between Reed and me. We might be fooling ourselves, but we’re not fooling him.
My suspicions are confirmed when Davis approaches me after class.
“Why are you and Mr. Garvey fighting?”
“We’re not,” I say.
“Liar. Has it … it got anything to do with how you helped me—”
“Nothing to do with you. I promise.”
Reed’s voice comes from the doorway. “I was dating his brother, and we broke up. Law’s pissed at me.”
“You have to stop eavesdropping,” I say.
“Rules. Not allowed to leave you alone with a student. I’m just doing my job.”
“Well, you two need to sort your shit out,” Davis says.
“Language,” Reed scolds. I don’t know why he keeps trying to tone down Davis’s swearing, but it’s cute when he does. I hate that.
“Just sayin’. You guys are sucking the fun out of class. So kiss and make up.”
I wince.
“We’ll sort it,” Reed says. “But right now, you need to get on the bus.” Reed meets my eyes. “I’ll message you later.”