Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 60198 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 301(@200wpm)___ 241(@250wpm)___ 201(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60198 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 301(@200wpm)___ 241(@250wpm)___ 201(@300wpm)
I manage a small nod and then let out my breath when they finally leave.
When will this get easier?
Across the room, my phone lights up with a text message, but my next class starts filing in, so I don’t get a chance to read it.
I get back in my groove—the under-fives tend to make me smile because they’re adorable when they shout a kiai—but by the time my last class rolls around, I’m ready for home.
What I don’t expect is Anders to walk through my door to join in. It’s an adult class, so that’s fine, but he’s not a joiner. We usually do one-on-one training.
“Didn’t you get my message?” he asks at my puzzled expression.
“I haven’t had a chance to check my phone. What are you doing here?”
He shrugs and looks away.
“Anders …” I warn.
“I’m making sure you’re okay, because you’re clearly not. I know the signs of someone struggling. I’ve lived them, and you were there for me each and every time I fell apart. I don’t know why this chick is different to the other women you date or why you’re so cut up over it ending, but I’m gonna make sure I’m here if you need me. So now I’m your student.”
Bloody hell. “I haven’t been that bad.”
“You’re not sleeping, bro.”
True, but that’s because my nightmares have come back. Most nights I relive finding Anders, but the past two nights, it’s been Reed I see all bloodied. I haven’t been able to talk to anyone about it because that would involve bringing Anders down with me, and he’s been doing so well.
If it’s bad enough that Anders is noticing, and Davis, for that matter, I guess it’s time I did something about it.
“I’ll tell you everything after class,” I say, and I mean it. I’ll tell him everything. I’m not afraid to come out to him. My closeted status has never been about that. I mean, there’s the nervous feeling of wanting to throw up, but I think that just comes with the territory of telling your brother you’ve kept something hidden from him for over a decade. I know he won’t care that I like guys and girls. Thanks to Reed, I can say that with absolutely no hesitance or confusion.
I am worried how Anders will react when he finds out I pretended to be him for a month so I could keep sleeping with my co-worker, though. Putting it that way makes me sound like a psycho. This is going to be a long conversation, so there’s no way I can blurt it out now when I’m about to lead a half-hour class.
“Whenever you’re ready.” Anders condescendingly pats my cheek.
My foot kicks out to the side and swings around the back of his legs, swiping them out from underneath him.
He lands on his back with a thud. “Guess I deserved that.”
Those already in the room laugh, and others enter the room and do a double take when they see Anders and me. Twin shit—people are always fascinated by it for some reason. I don’t get it.
I don’t want to admit it, but having Anders front row for my class calms me somewhat and distracts me from everything going on in my messed-up head. It’s also reassuring to know that my brother has my back, just as I have his. It didn’t occur to me how much of a one-way street my relationship with Anders has been until Reed asked me who’s there for me when I need someone. I’ve been fine to be the one who’s had to keep it together because what Anders went through is so much worse than what I endured, but neither of us realised his attack had a ripple effect. He wasn’t the only one who almost died that night.
If I’d lost my brother, my literal other half, I wouldn’t have survived it. Mum and Dad worry about us, even now, years later. Dad hides it better than Mum, but whenever we go home, it’s always a tense environment when Kyle is mentioned or something from years ago comes back to haunt us.
As we cool down from the class, doing last-minute stretches, I take a deep breath and prepare myself to lay it all out there for Anders. He might be shocked at first—especially when he finds out I’ve known I liked guys basically my whole life—but I know he’ll support me. Telling him about Reed on the other hand … he’ll either laugh his ass off or be pissed at me. It’s an unwritten law between twins. Don’t pretend to be the other without permission.
Anders starts packing away the mats while I see everyone out. “The faster we get this done, the sooner we can hit a bar.”
“It’s a Monday.”
He shrugs. “I have a feeling this talk is going to need alcohol.”