Total pages in book: 125
Estimated words: 120631 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 603(@200wpm)___ 483(@250wpm)___ 402(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 120631 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 603(@200wpm)___ 483(@250wpm)___ 402(@300wpm)
“There’s always been something inside of me that wants to protect you. Even though you’re one of the toughest women I’ve ever met.”
She gripped the side of her head as if trying to cover her ears.
“What? You don’t believe me?”
“I…can’t believe you, Soren.”
“Why? I’ve never lied to you—”
“I know you’re telling the truth, but the second I start depending on others, they leave.”
“Hey.” He pulled her arms down and turned her to face him, pushing back her hair, startled to find tears in her eyes. “Jesus, Joce. No, don’t do that.” He traced his thumb along the soft flesh under her eyes and cursed when two more tears fell. “Why are you crying?”
“I don’t know.” She sniffled. “Today’s been a lot.”
“Talk to me.” He continued to wipe her cheeks. “Help me understand what you’re feeling.”
She sniffed and smeared the makeup around her eyes. “Everyone’s suddenly pregnant. It’s like I missed a chapter.” She wiped the back of her hand under her nose. “Every month, there’s another announcement. So-and-so is Engaged, Save the Date, Mr. and Mrs. Puke Welcome Another Belly Goblin—Ugh! Sorry. That sounds horrible. I swear, I’m actually a romantic and very happy for everyone’s good news, but sometimes it’s suffocating living in Pleasantville.”
“You’re not horrible.” He laughed. “I think most people find the plastering of announcements annoying.”
“It’s not that I’m unhappy. I’m thrilled for Wren and Greyson!”
“Of course, you are. But I get it, Joce. We’re not where they are and we’re also not in our twenties anymore.”
“There’s so much pressure lately to figure out our futures, and maybe I just want things to stay exactly where they are.”
“You don’t have to change just because other people are changing.”
She wiped her eyes again, and a mask of impenetrable composure slid into place. “I know you want kids, Soren.”
He wasn’t going to lie to her. “I do.”
“Well, I don’t know if I do.”
Her confession lodged in his chest like a javelin. “Being unsure isn’t the same as a hard no. You don’t have to decide anything right now.”
“I’m not cut out to be a mom. I’m not…nurturing.”
“Jocelyn, you adopted a rat and dress it up every day while telling it how precious and beautiful it is. And you genuinely believe that frizzy little demon spawn is pretty. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a more unconditional, maternal love.”
She scoffed. “Don’t you dare talk about my child that way.”
“See? You’re nurturing in your own threatening way. And you’re going to be an incredible aunt to Grey and Wren’s baby. Cut yourself some slack.”
“You’re missing the point. That woman, Olivia, she’s willing to give you everything you want.”
“You’re wrong.”
“Soren, she told me herself.”
“I don’t care what she said. You’re still wrong, and so is she. She can’t possibly give me what I want, because what I want is you.”
His confession stole her breath. It was one of those rare moments when Jocelyn actually blushed. Then she scowled. “I told you not to be nice to me.”
“You also threatened to castrate me, but I’m still intact down there, and you’ve had plenty of chances. Trust me to know you well enough to know when you’re bluffing.” That loose curl kept falling over her eye, so he tucked it behind her ear again. “We both know you’re a bit of a shit-talker.”
“I hate how well you know me.”
“I’m going to be nice to you, Jocelyn. And there’s nothing you can do about it, so you might as well just give in and let me do my absolute worst.”
Her face twisted as if in pain. “What did you say to Olivia?”
“Nothing. I went after you.”
“You just left her there?”
“Yeah. You took off, and I’ve been trying to track you down ever since. Cordelia tried to eat me when I broke into your house.”
“As she should. Stop breaking into my house.”
“Stop locking me out.”
She tried to hide her face, but he caught her smile. “How did you know I’d be here?”
“I remembered you saying you came here when you needed to escape.”
“When did I tell you that?”
“That night we kicked a bottle of wine during the heatwave.”
She frowned and shifted uncomfortably. “Are you writing this shit down in your diary? I think you take sadistic pleasure out of making me feel things I’d prefer to avoid.”
He kissed her nose, which was chilled from crying. “I’m going to make you feel as much as you can handle.”
“Well, you’ve hit my limit. Some of us like being dead inside.”
“You can’t write bestselling romance with a black soul, Joce. I know you’re a romantic at heart.” He stood and pulled her to her feet. “Come on. I’m taking you to my house, where I plan to make you feel many, many orgasmic things.”
“Cordelia—”
“We can pick her up on the way when we drop off your car.”
“I can drive.”