Total pages in book: 55
Estimated words: 51624 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 258(@200wpm)___ 206(@250wpm)___ 172(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 51624 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 258(@200wpm)___ 206(@250wpm)___ 172(@300wpm)
“Two strangers getting to know one another and becoming close—”
“Lake—”
I hold her hand gently on the table. “Close friends,” I say, which is all I’ve been trying to do, but the words sit wrong in my head.
“Oh,” she says again, her cheeks deepening once more in color.
“I don’t have anyone, Livy. I’m tired of having no one who cares how I feel—no one that understands. It seems to me that you have the same issue.”
“I have my therapist,” she responds at once.
“So, you have some suit that has studied books on how things make you feel, but you don’t have someone who knows what it means to have the world stolen from them, to survive when you wish you hadn’t.” I can tell my words hit their mark because Olivia just stares at me before nodding her head in acceptance. “When I talk with you, Livy, I feel more alive than I have since I woke up in that damn hospital bed. If I manage to give you just a small sliver of that feeling, I don’t want either of us to lose it.”
I brace myself for her to argue further. I fully expect it. Olivia surprises me, though, when she whispers quietly, “Okay, Lake.”
Okay? Damn. I didn’t expect it, but I’m not going to give her time to second-guess herself. “Wait here,” I tell her. Then, I get up and walk quickly to the small office. After pushing some buttons on the stereo in there, I head back just as the sounds of Tom Petty begin playing on the speaker system. When I make it back to Olivia, I stand by her seat and hold out my hand. “May I have this dance?”
“Dance?” she squeaks.
I grin. “Well, it’s something I always wanted to know if I could do, but never tried. I figure that if I’m going to make a fool of myself, it’d be safer to do it with a friend. Since you’re the only one I have …” I shrug, ignoring how weird it feels to hold my hand out and Olivia not putting hers in it.
“What if you step on my toes?” she asks with a slight smile.
I pretend not to notice the way her hand trembles in mine as she finally takes pity on me. “I’ll pay the doctor's bill,” I joke, my voice hoarser than normal. We begin dancing, although it’s more swaying than anything else. I breathe in her scent of vanilla and coconut. It seems to soothe my nerves easily. I fight the urge to pull her completely against my body. Olivia is tense in my arms, but she’s not pulling away, and I consider that a small victory.
“Lake?”
“Yeah?” I ask quietly.
“Is your name really Lake?”
“It is now,” I reply.
“Well, it’s a nice name.”
“Thanks, Livy.”
I don’t tell her that tonight is the first night that I liked the name, and it’s all because she used it. I don’t tell her I’m confused because I can’t explain why I’m so drawn to her, or how it feels like I’ve been waiting for her from the moment I woke up. No, I lied out of my ass when I mentioned friends. I wanted to dance with her because I wanted her in my arms. I don’t tell her that I’m scared tonight will end and I’ll wake up in the morning and none of this happened. Instead, I close my eyes, and as Tom sings about good girls and bad boys, I hum along. When he wails that he’s free fallin’ over and over, I understand, because I’m doing the same … for Olivia.
13
IF WISHES WERE HORSES
OLIVIA
Tonight was one of the best nights that I can remember in a very long time. It was simultaneously the worst. I had such a good time with Lake. Maybe it’s because we’ve both had a history of pain and emptiness. I don’t know. It’s just that the conversation was easy—even the heavy stuff. The silences—when they came—were easy. After we got past the heavy conversations about our pasts, nothing felt strained at all. It even felt normal dancing with him. A small voice inside my head admitted that I liked being in Lake’s arms, but I chose to ignore it.
I wish I were normal. I’m not exactly sure what that saying is about wishes and horses, but the gist is wishes are useless. It doesn’t affect reality.
I push the thoughts aside and decide to take a shower before I go to bed. It has been hours since Lake dropped me off. I should already be asleep because I have to work tomorrow. I’m too keyed up. Hopefully, a shower will help quiet the voices in my head.
It doesn’t take long to get the shower done. I’d like to soak in the bath, but it’s late, so time is not on my side. The work at the campground is relatively mindless and easy. Still, it wouldn’t be good to fall asleep while on the job. Carson and his brothers have been so good to me. I won’t do something like that. I want to work hard for them. I owe more than I could ever express.